boundaries, choice, confidence, relationship, self-care

Boundaries, Baby!

Boundaries1I have a saying about boundaries: You usually don’t know what one is until it’s been crossed.

I have a new boundary that I’d like to declare, based on some recent not-so-pleasant experiences. Without going into details, and keeping in mind that there are two parts to every story, I will give you the condensed version of mine.

I’d been working with an individual for the last few months on some important projects. He has thing called “his way” that seems to be justified by the people in his circle…“Oh that’s just his way,”  a euphemism that was somehow supposed to excuse his behavior.

I found his communication style unpleasant, completely lacking in warmth or kindness, even rude.

I felt uncomfortable approaching him with any questions, his responses were always short and curt, I didn’t like the way I felt, when I was dealing with him.

I am a huge proponent of kindness as a business skill.

I believe that the two seconds it takes to type a “hello” or a “thanks!” is worth more than some people realize.

I also believe that I get to choose who I work with and who I don’t.

I respect myself enough to not align with people who have shitty attitudes. Just that simple.

My fiancé and I had a great discussion recently, where he inspired me to create a business boundary around mutual respect and kindness.

As the creator of my destiny, and my business, I don’t need or want to do business (or anything, for that matter) with someone who is not going to treat me with the same respect and kindness I extend.

I know people are drawn into our lives for a reason. He has definitely been a teacher, revealing to me a new standard, a new criteria for anyone I align with: Simple kindness. Reciprocal respect. Warmth.

Yes, I only want to work with warm, kind people.

It feels good to declare this, and I hope you will consider your life, your interactions, your tolerances. What are you done with? What are you ready to declare? Is there a new boundary coming forth that you will commit to, today?

It’s always a little scary to draw a line, to close a door. Especially for recovering people-pleasers like me. But I trust in a universe that responds to my acts of self-respect. And I know that this shift will create a ripple effect that will attract people into my life and my business that I enjoy working with.

It is not too much to ask to enjoy working with the people I work with. I am the CEO of my life. I love and respect myself enough to choose with care.

I decide who gets in and who doesn’t and I am the boss of me.

That might mean I need to sever relationships that feel ugly and unrewarding.

I’m proud to say I’m okay with that.


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