dream

You Can Be Satisfied AND Want More

"She was a bad egg." Click image for Veruca's video!
“She was a bad egg.” Click image for Veruca’s video!

Every time I think of “wanting it all”, I think of the petulant, spoiled-to-the-core brat of Willie Wonka fame, Veruca Salt. She’s an extreme example of wanting. Spoiled, recklessly self-absorbed, and we all know what happens to her. She faces her unfortunate demise when she falls down the hatch, trying to get her golden egg. “Bad Egg” the meter declares.

And we all chuckle, knowing she got what she deserved, the little brat, the subtle message planted: don’t want too much.

It’s unfortunate really, that we’ve equated desire with being spoiled, wanting more with ungratefulness, that somehow it’s more virtuous to not want, to just be satisfied with what you have, to be content.

So when the desires do stir within us, for more, for bigger, for better,  there is an emotional dissonance that occurs within us, a tear of sorts, a conflict. The apparent contradiction between what we’re “supposed to be”– grateful, content, happy with what we have,  and what we actually are, wanting, desirous creatures with longings and yearnings.

The notion of either/or is complete hogwash and I challenge you to ditch it!

I was talking to a sweet friend the other night, who can’t quite put her finger on it, but she’s restless, less satisfied with her work. “Uninspired” was what she called it.  “But…” she began to backtrack. She feels like she “should” just be happy, grateful. She’s got a fulfilling, successful career, cool apartment, great boyfriend, wonderful friends. Shouldn’t that be enough?

And yet, here she is, finding herself wanting more, and the shadowy underbelly of that desire is guilt and judgement, as if wanting more is some declaration to the bountiful Universe that we are greedy, arrogant and impossible to satisfy.

My friend dreams of traveling, of experiencing more of the world, having wild adventures in foreign places, doing what she loves while traipsing the planet, and when she allows herself to want more, her eyes dance, her face lights up, her smile spreads across her face, and it’s beautiful to behold. A desirous woman is frightening to some, titillating to me.

Of course, there is also that part of us that knows that if we want more, bigger, better, we will have to BE more, bigger, better, and, oh that’s a whole other blog, this idea of staying small so that we don’t have to live up to the grandness of our desires and dreams… You know what I’m talking about, right?

But the message I want to share with you today is that you CAN be both grateful and content AND wanting of more.  You are a co-creating your life, with a boundless Universe that is thrilled by your desires and dreams.  Your longings do not diminish your gratitude for what you have. Desire does not cancel out gratitude.

So go on, want it all. You will not fall down the chute. You are not a bad egg. Your dreams and desires have power and magic in them, and you can trust them. But ohh…  you might have to act on them, too. That’s the way it goes…

Feel grateful, yes. Appreciate what you have, yes. But don’t stop there.

Dream on, feel your longings, bask in your desire, let yourself want.

Somewhere Between

defaultA couple of months ago, I had a dream. In the dream, I was playing the keyboard and making music and experiencing great pleasure. In real life, I didn’t play any instruments. And I woke up with a longing. It wasn’t the first time I’ve longed to make music.
One time, around seventeen years ago, I wrote three songs in one late-night frenzy and worked with musician friends for a couple of pot-fueled nights after that to set them to music. We did, they were great, at least I thought so, though I can’t for the life of me remember any of the three songs. I blame it on the pot. Mostly, I’ve ignored this longing to make music that pops its head into my consciousness every now and then. Not this time, though.
Something has shifted inside of me, where it has become too difficult, too painful, impossible to ignore my longings. Hiding from myself is no longer an option. Denying myself of what I want and need has become unacceptable.
Not every longing is something I need or want to leap into blindly, mind you. Some come and go, like clouds in the sky, changing formation, or dissolving altogether. But I’ve come to believe that every longing deserves my attention, my curiosity, at the very least. And every longing has information for me, a message.
Back to the keyboard dream: That day, I could not stop thinking about playing the keyboard. I kept talking to Matt, my fiance, about it. “Buy a keyboard.” He said, jumping on Amazon to find one immediately. Guys are such problem solvers.
Two days later (thanks, Amazon Prime!) I met my new love, and she has 61 keys. And so, for the last couple months, I’ve been tinkering. I’ve watched tons of tutorials and pounded along on my keys, I have experienced true bliss and even deep meditative states while engaging my new hobby. I literally get high from it. It feels really good to have a new hobby. And I’ve written a couple songs.
It’s with great vulnerability and a little trepidation that I share this one with you. I’m a beginner, I’m teaching myself chords, I know pretty much nothing. I’m no Alicia Keys or Tori Amos. I know that I am at “kindergarten” level as far as skills go.
But I am proud of myself. I’m following a longing. I’m engaging my heart, mind and soul in a new way.
I listened. And that counts for something.
I wrote this song to express where I am right now. Major transitions (more about that next week!) happening in my life have me in a deep state of discomfort and mystery. I’m diving into the unknown. I’m scared. It’s hard to describe where I am right now, except to describe it as “Somewhere Between.” So I did. I hope you enjoy it.
And I’d love for you to ask yourself, is there a longing within you that wants your attention, your curiosity? I challenge you today to turn toward your longing and ask it “What do you want to tell me?”

Calling Bullshit on Our Confusion

Role-Clarity

“The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.”
– Leo Buscaglia

I see it all the time. I get it, because I’ve been there. Standing face to face with a fork in the road, at the precipice of a choice, a big decision, a leap, an opportunity, a burning dream that is no longer satisfied with being ignored, people will get stuck in a state of confusion.

I just don’t know.

Should I stay or should I go?

Should I take the job?

Should I take the trip?

Should I say yes? Should I say no?

What should I do?

I want to share with you what I have come to believe about clarity and confusion, and the dramatic gulf of difference between them. When you compare the two, it’s really no wonder at all that we so often choose to stay in the blurry, convoluted, diminishing, paralyzing and often soul-sucking land of confusion.

Think about it…

Confusion asks nothing of us. Clarity requires action.

Confusion risks nothing. Clarity is frightening, because once clear, we must risk.

Confusion is cozy and familiar. Clarity asks us to move into the unknown.

Confusion is simple. How can I act if I don’t really know? Clarity feels complicated. There is a plan required.

Clarity asks for our decisiveness. And decisiveness is so… decisive.

So yes, I get it when you tell me you’re confused. And then I might ask, when you experience those moments of clarity, however fleeting they may be, before confusion returns, what does clarity say?

And it usually turns out that deep inside, under the confusion, there’s our clarity. Waiting for us. Signaling to us. And eventually demanding from us that we acknowledge it. Even if we are unready to act, clarity would love to know we see it.

Then, I might ask you to respond differently to clarity, the next time it pokes its head, that instead of quickly deferring back to confusion, you stay with that clarity, just a little bit longer. Engage it for a moment more.

Before you scurry back to the safety of confusion, let yourself be in the clarity for just a little bit longer. What would it mean, to be clear?

But it’s complicated, you might be thinking. No. It’s not really. The steps and actions and path we take once clear might be. But clarity itself is as simple as can be, crystal clear like spring water. Alive and pulsing like a bubbling brook. And it will carry you.

Once we are clear, that’s when we begin to know what we must do. That’s when life asks us to risk more, play bigger, get out of the shadows, live our truth, drop the bullshit, solidify our yes, or our no, and make it a reality.

And that’s terrifying.

But here are some things that are even more terrifying. Living a life you have outgrown. Missing out on the fullness of your unlived dreams. Arriving at the end of your life wishing things would have been different.

And the harsh truth is, today, you are one day closer to your dying day. And while clarity is patient, most of the time, it’s very polite, and will not force its hand. It’s waiting for you.

So yes, I get it when you tell me you don’t know what to do. And I challenge you to come clean about the other truth, that deep within, you DO know what to do.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that you will immediately be equipped to make your next move. There may be a dozen reasons why an immediate move into your yes, or your no, isn’t possible. Many of them are paper thin, and just by stepping through them will you move toward the life you crave. Many of them are excuses. Many of them are painfully difficult. But trust me when I say this, when you step into your clarity, She Who Knows, that part of you that is clear will also provide you with the strength and direction and ability to move forward.

Will it be easy? Not always.

Will it be painful? Quite possibly.

Will you be afraid? Most likely.

But will it be right? Of course.

Because She Who Knows, that part of you, deep within, where clarity lives… she knows. And she is waiting for you to let her lead the way.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t even have to make any sudden moves. But owning your clarity will give you access to a power and a strength that comes from the same source your clarity lives. This I am very clear on.

So what is it you’re confused about? And are you really confused? Or just avoiding clarity?

The first step, and the only step you need to concern yourself with, for now, is getting clear. Clarity is power in itself. And it’s waiting, patiently for you to embrace it.

 

 

******

I can help you get clear. Schedule a complimentary coaching session with me and let’s cut through the confusion together.

In 2016, I Wish for You…

1916673_10153429795793473_2230011888267446567_nHello, bright shining one!

It’s that time of year, where we are inspired to make changes, to take action and commit to creating the lives we want. I know I am motivated and inspired, as I am every year, to make some big shifts.

I’ve been thinking about you. About us. About 2016. I have some wishes for you in 2016.

My wish is that this will be a year not of you changing yourself into someone new, but that from within you will EMERGE the truest, strongest, most powerful and radiant version of yourself that you have ever been, at your life’s natural, organic pace.

My wish is not that you “raise your vibration” to become some perfect, super-human version of yourself, but that you instead practice being present to the exact moment that is. YOU, at any vibration, are divine.

My wish for you is that you become “sacredly selfish” with your energy, and that you release any energies you picked up along the way that are not yours.

My wish is that you commit to become the purest, truest expression of YOU that you can be, in every area of your life, and that your tolerance for faking it or going through the motions diminishes completely.

My wish is not that you transform your body from a place of violence or cruelty or loathing toward the body you already have, but that you commit to loving your body exactly as it is, while you shower it with loving care and nurturing, and develop new habits from a place of self-compassion and not hatred or violence.

My wish for you is that you release yourself from any self-imposed imprisonment that has held you bound in any way. You have suffered long enough. You are free.

My wish for you is that some of the love you so freely give to others will be turned toward your lovely, worthy, imperfect, gorgeous, deserving self, and that you will fall in love with yourself in new and delicious ways this year, like never before.

My wish for you is that you will take your dream, you know the dream I’m talking about, and allow it to gestate it to full-term, and when it is ready to be born, you will push, you will labor, you’ll release it in the most natural and inspiring ways, and bring it into reality.

My wish for you is that you embrace the beautiful truth that there is nothing wrong with you and you are enough. You are not damaged. You are not broken. You are exactly who you are meant to be in this moment. Your job is not to fix yourself. Your invitation is always to unfold. To heal. To emerge.

May this year be the best one of your life, so far.

I can’t wait to support you, in whatever way that may be!

With overflowing love,

P.S. I made a gift for you- it’s my New Year’s Game, for you and yours- download and print and share it this holiday with the one’s you love! Get your game here. Enjoy!

SacredSexyU Spotlight: Meet Katie Forbes!

ssu spotlightI’m excited about a new monthly feature – I’ll be gleefully spotlighting some of my amazing clients, partners and pals. These are the folks who inspire me on a regular basis, and I want to share their shining brilliance with the world. Today, meet Katie Forbes!

Katie is one of the loveliest, most generous and authentic people I know. She shows up for life with a wide open heart, and I’ve loved the time I’ve spent with her. She brings a lot of light into my life and the lives of so many others.

She’s just launched a sweet and lovely business, Dew & Beemore, that is a true extension of her bright and sparkly personality. Katie and I conversed about dreaming, planning, growing, letting go, tuning in and other sacred, sexy stuff. Check it out…

katie1Katie, you are forging a new path, developing a dream. Tell us about Dew & Beemore.

I have this tremendous heart for helping others. Dew & Beemore is a fledgling import company that helps artists, in both the US & India, make their art by financing and collaborating on new projects or purchasing their completed work, making this art accessible to people who otherwise might not have access or exposure to it, and supporting organizations that help people who really need it.

The name of your business seems to have a rich “double” meaning. Can you tell us about the concept behind the name?

I co-founded Dew & Beemore with two brothers, Farooh & Abdul, in response to our deep desire to do (Dew) and (&) be more (Beemore) with life. We three love art, but the one thing we all have a real passion for is helping others do more than they ever thought was possible and be more than they dared dream they could be.

You also work a full-time day job. How do you keep things balanced? What keeps you centered?

Ah! Balanced?! Good grief, do I do that? HAHA…  I rely heavily on my yoga and nutrition to keep my body and mind in check. Keeping the physical stressors away is The. Most. Important. Thing. I can’t hope to do anything or be anything other than a lumpy grump if my brain won’t work (poor nutrition) or my back hurts (skipping yoga). Also, personal development is a priority.  I always have a book that is in some way contributing to my understanding of the world and my place in it. Sessions with you! Having forehead on desk moments are scientifically proven to be the direct result of lapsing katie2in regular brain dumps.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of letting go, to gain; creating space to attract new brilliance… have you let go of anything recently? What did you gain?

When starting a new (ad)venture you have to come to terms with menial bank account balances for some time. I have been reminding myself that money is something that you can’t be attached to. I have let go of the attachment to my bank balance. If I spend our last 200 smackers on what my gut is telling me is the next step, then the 200 will come back when and how it is supposed to. What I have received in return is FREEDOM.

I’ve also been exploring “stuckness” and how it serves us, in the long run, as a preparation, healing or gestating time. What do you do when you feel stuck?

When I am feeling stuck, I often turn to doing something that gets me moving, physically. I haven’t decided if it is the act of setting aside, or if it is truly the act of moving that does it. Either way, physically or mentally, like any good author, I put the chapter aside for a while, and come back to it in a few days.

I’ve loved you since the day I met you, Katie! I want you to brag on yourself. What do you love most about yourself? What makes you fantastic? What are the gifts you possess that are most helpful in the growing of your dreams?  

I love you too! What I love most about myself is my heart. I love deeply and honestly. I am fair and want everyone to feel fulfilled, respected, and strong. My super power is spotting people’s strengths and showing them how to leverage them for a purpose bigger than themselves. I use this gift a couple ways,  to spot goods that an artist I know would be able to transform into something unique finding ways to leverage what Dew & Beemore is doing to improve the lives of others.

What advice do you have for people who are holding the seed of a gestating dream, but maybe have limitations of time, due to a full time job, or start up money, or even entrepreneurial experience?

Get help. HA! What I have come to realize is that there is no one who has done anything without help. Working alongside someone who can act as a mirror for frustrations and stuckness, tell you to get a grip in a loving way, and hold you accountable really alleviates the feeling of being on an island.

Time, shmime. Job, shmob. Money, shmoney. Experience, expershmearience. I’ve got none either!

I have formal training in skincare. I am a training/quality manager by day, and my hobbies include crocheting and dog training. Limitations are whatever you allow them to be. Limitations are not inherently roadblocks, they are yield signs. Are you going to be that person getting on the highway of life that stops at the yield sign? There are no engraved invitations to this party. So just do something. Screw the limits.

Thank you so much for being so Sacred and so Sexy in your sharing, Katie! Keep shining, and offering your authenticity to the world. You are a gift.

You can learn more about Dew & Beemore by visiting their website or Facebook page.

On The Verge

Divers-Ferdinando-Scianna-Magnumverge 1 (vûrj) n.

1. The extreme edge or margin; a border..

2. a. An enclosing boundary. b. The space enclosed by such a boundary.

3. The point beyond which an action, state, or condition is likely to begin or occur; the brink.

– FreeDictionary.com

 

 

 

The verge. You’re on it.

You know it.

I know it.

There’s no more denying it.

You feel it in your marrow, in the base of your soul. It haunts you like a bad dream. It tickles you like a fantasy. It’s a departure. It’s an arrival. It’s here. It’s time.

You’re on the verge.

The verge of what?

It doesn’t matter. Could be anything. It’s the border between who you used to be and who you are becoming. Your toes are touching it, your foot is lifting.

Are you ready to step?

How do you know you’re on the verge? Life has a funny way of telling you. Sometimes in clues, subtle and enigmatic. Sometimes it’s a prompt.  A tugging. A gnawing.

Sometimes a metaphoric cartoon anvil drops down from a cliff, to land on our heads. Like the wily coyotes we are, we dig ourselves out. We dust ourselves off.

We step.

I’m noticing a fascinating epidemic of people on the verge of their next evolution. It seems that pretty much everyone I know is on the verge of incredible, beautiful, wondrous manifestations of their next evolution.

Whether by their own volition, or by bravely playing the hand they have been dealt. They stand on the verge, on the border of what was and what will be. It seems everyone I know is in some sort of transition, either spiritual birthing, manifestation of a dream, healing a broken heart, moving into new physical space, letting go, stepping up, leaping forward, scaling walls… you name it. They’re doing it. I’m doing it. Are you?

Simultaneously, it seems that we are all risking, taking chances, daring, truthing. Saying “YES, LIFE. I TRUST YOU”, at this critical time in our planet’s history.

You feel it, too, don’t you?

This is your confirmation. This is the sign you’ve been waiting for. You’re pointed in the right direction. Your head is in the clouds, yes. That’s where it should be. That’s where the magic lives. But your feet are on the ground. And it’s time for you to take off.

I don’t know what choices you are facing right now.

But I know this: Your heart knows the answers. Your passion points the way.

Find your tribe. Connect to those that support your metamorphosis. Release relationships that do not support your next evolution. You know exactly who they are. What they are. What they are not. Let em go.

It’s time to birth a New You.

You ARE birthing a New You.

The You that is not limited by old stories and tiny boxes and lonely walls.

The You that is here to fully experience this glorious life, to do what you were sent here to do, to claim your sovereignty.

The You that Is ready to own your power, fully.

The You that does not hold back from life.

The You that says “YES, LIFE. I TRUST YOU.”

The You that even trusts your fear and your resistance, knowing that those are merely sign-posts, pointing the way to your next Big Adventure.

The You that knows deep down inside why you are here, why your soul decided to join us, at this time, in this body, in this place, on this giant planet.

The You that knows it’s time for great things, even greater than you can imagine.

You are on the verge.

I know it.

You know it.

Now bravely step.

 

***********************************

Need a midwife for birthing the New You? The Truth or Dare Club may be the perfect place, a supportive, welcoming space for manifesting a new version of You. Bring the Old You, and let’s birth the New You. Starts 10/10.

Back to Bliss, and some big announcements…

Oooooh yeah… I write this from the strangest place, something has shifted, I feel odd… Lightheaded, ecstatic, warm, tingly, sensitive, opened… Can’t really explain it except for the fact that I am certain it has to do with the cosmic and planetary shift we are moving into. (And my openness to experience such!)

As I write, it is 12.12.12… A magical day for us all, as we move through this portal into peace and love, where everything is different. Are you ready?

You may be noticing, like me, a surge in energy, productivity, creation. You may also be experiencing intense emotions, maybe even loss. Last night, our family dog Roxy, passed away suddenly. I was able to pet her warm sweet body, kiss her and send her love into next realm. It was intense, awful, yet peaceful and full of loving energy. Today I ride waves of sadness and grief, which suddenly shift into waves of glee and bliss… I can’t explain it any other way except I feel altered. Altered state of consciousness.

I’m also experiencing a “relapse” in my hip and spine, the sciatica and piriformis pain which I had thought was under control. I am there again, the intensity of the pain at times bringing me to tears. Waves of anger, frustration, and then, from out of nowhere, waves of love and acceptance. Trust and surrender. Back to bliss.

Wow… I am riding these powerful waves. Curious. Intrigued. Captivated. Surrendered. In love.

Back to bliss. Back to bliss. Whatever comes at us, we return back to bliss. We can. We will. We are! It’s our birthright!

Big things ahead! For us all.

I’m so excited to announce that I published my first book yesterday. Truth or Dare Living: Wild Adventures for Your Sacred, Sexy Soul. Please buy a copy and join me for the adventure! It’s not just a book you read, it’s a book you DO! C’mon, I dare ya!

Lastly, but not leastly! I couldn’t be more thrilled to be launching a brand new membership program with the my amazing soul sister, Megan Monique, called Prosperity Playground. If you’re ready for big shifts around finances in 2013, like we are, jump aboard and join us on this trip! Oh yeah, baby!

There are amazing, incredible, great big things awaiting you and me in 2013. Can you feel it? Let’s do this.

P.S. I invite you to consider gifting the women you love with SacredSexyU gifts! I’ve got some ideas you might enjoy

 

photo by Dee Hill

I’m dilated at about a nine… ready to give birth!

It’s something I’ve wanted to do a very long time, something that I’ve finally committed to, and have been so wrapped up in this week that  I’ll make this short and sweet. I’m about to give birth to a BOOK!

I’ve collected 52 of my favorite writings and blogs and woven them together within the framework of a Truth or Dare game. The book is called  “Truth or Dare Living: Wild Adventures for Your Sacred, Sexy Soul” and it’s not just a book you read, it’s a book you DO! In fact, the interactive community aspect of this book includes access to a private Facebook group for connection and accountability.

The impetus to get ‘er birthed has been my upcoming appearance on Woo-Hoo Radio, with Lisa Steadman, next week, 12/12/12! WOW! I am so friggin excited I can barely stand it.

So, in just a couple of days, you’ll here more about how to get your copy of my first book!

Til then, it’s back to pushing… here she comes, she’s crowning! 🙂

What long-desired dream have you been putting off?

Are you dilating with a dream? Time to push!

I dare ya.