Giver, I dare you to recieve.
I’m getting better with this, but it still happens now and then, that cringing, awkward feeling when I’m supposed to receive… a gift, a compliment, support, praise.
Instead of basking on the loving receiving end of the give and receive cycle, I feel uncomfortable.
Eager to diffuse attention.
Worried what “others” might think.
Diligent to pay it back, or pay it forward, as soon as possible, lest things be “uneven.”
Just experienced this today, in fact.
And this is extremely common among women.
I posed the question on Facebook this afternoon… “Why is it hard for us (especially women) to receive?”
Got a few dozen awesome responses. Here are a few of them…
- I’ve been taught that I’m not a man and so I don’t deserve it. Not in so many words of course, but in the way I was raised to cover, hide, be quiet,…
- We are typically taught to be givers not receivers
- I was taught that if you don’t work hard for it, you don’t deserve it. I also think that women are taught to be self-sacrificing and giving.
- Trained from a young age that my life was only for service
- As women/mothers we nurture and care for so, I guess it just seems so foreign to have it done in return…
I’m noticing a theme here. Taught… trained… learned…
This difficulty receiving is ingrained in us, threads woven into our fabric. It’s time to pull those threads. It’s time to unlearn. Life is relying on us to learn how to receive just as well as we give. Giving and receiving is a cycle, a beautiful dance, a balance.
When we resist receiving, we actually damage the cycle. We disturb the dance. We destroy the balance.
“It’s better to give than to receive.” We are taught. But giving needs receiving, to be complete. So isn’t it just as important?
When we resist receiving, we deny the giver the gift of giving.
We rob them of the warm and loving feeling that giving creates.
We are ripping people off by not receiving! Think about it!
For the last four years, I have been extending financial gifts and scholarships to dozens of clients and students of the Burlesque Experience. I derive great pleasure in doing so.
Recently, a number of graduates of the course have been expressing to me their desire to also give toward such gifts and scholarships.
I’ll admit, my initial reaction was discomfort. It’s so much easier to give than to receive.
But after some thought and prayer, I realized that not just receiving, but graciously receiving the generosity of others, I am still giving! (Woo-hoo!)
I am giving the giver the pleasure and profoundly fulfilling experience of giving, to a gracious recipient of their generosity!
Experiencing generosity from the giving or receiving end cultivates more blessings for everyone.
Not only that, but in this particular case, it will help me continue the tradition of giving to other, toward their tuition, that might not otherwise be able to experience the Experience! We can give more! What a beautiful win-win.
It’s a prevalent problem. Our discomfort with receiving.
We sure love to give, we give give give, it feels so good, so natural.
I’m not suggesting we stop giving. It’s awesome and cultivates abundance.
But what if it also felt natural to receive?
Exercise your receiving muscle.
Share stories of receiving.
Let others close to you know that you are experimenting with becoming a better receiver.
Open your heart, open your arms… open up and receive.