joy

Do Your Mood Swings Have a Message for You?

nong-tinh-gian-du

I’ve been noticing something interesting lately. I’ve been starting out my days on a high vibration, fiercely grateful, mindfully approaching every task with presence, joy… All ooey-gooey and overflowing with love. And I move through my day, completing tasks. Or not. Bouncing around from one priority to another. One diversion to another.

And then, at some point, BAM. I crash. I don’t just crash. I plummet. My mood shifts dramatically. I go from “joyous bearer of light” to “bitch on wheels”. Just like that. Or so it seems.

I look at my sweet Facebook posts from the morning and roll my eyes at myself. I think bad thoughts. I make careless mistakes. I’m stressed and tired and off-kilter.

All that overflowing, ooey-gooey love has coagulated and turned into something much less appetizing, viscous and dry. I am hard and closed and cranky. I dislike. I complain. I judge. I worry. I feel overwhelmed and feral. Not fit for human interaction.

What is this shift? Why does it happen? So suddenly it seems, yet maybe if I look closely, not so sudden at all.

For a while I thought it was a sugar crash. Or a hormonal imbalance. Or demon possession.  But today, I’m realizing it’s something way more subtle and insidious. And really, quite simple…

I haven’t checked in with myself.

All tangled up in the doing, going, creating, replying, forwarding, posting, planning, I’ve wandered away from myself.

It makes perfect sense. I start my day with ritual. I make my coffee. I light candles. I journal. I read. I pray. It’s no wonder I’m full of love and light!

And then, little by little, I disconnect from myself, from Source. I forget to check in. I ignore the desire to stretch. I hold my pee for ridiculous lengths of time.

I’ve decided here and now to take up a new daily practice. A simple practice called stopping. Remember lunch hours? I used to have them in corporate America. I kinda miss those.

I will check in. Ask myself what I want, feel and need. I will tune in, jump off the grid for a few minutes. Refuel.  Start my midday the way I start my morning. Wow. What a concept. And why not?  I heard a woman say to another woman who was complaining about her back-breaking busy schedule… “Wow… Who on earth is responsible for treating you that way? Who’s the tyrant that manages your schedule?” Yes, it was sarcastic. In a loving sort of way.

“You get out of balance because you aren’t listening to your inner life, because you aren’t meeting your challenges of your life with any input from the inside. you haven’t given yourself enough time
to know what you think or feel.”

– Jennifer Louden, “Comfort Secrets for Busy Women”

I’m ready to try something new. To restore my balance midday in order to experience more joy.  And this epiphany I am gifted with when I stop to check in with myself.

What shifts or changes are you ready to make? What truth is waiting for you, if you simply check in with yourself?

What if during your next mood swing, you took it as a message from your soul to check in with yourself, to step aside, stop, recalibrate, reset, turn inward?

I’m off to restore and renew now… See you on the other side of my day. Most likely, in a much better mood.

 

 

Desperately Seeking Passion

Artist unknown

“I just want to feel passion… I don’t think I’ve ever felt it.” She said, looking at me with pleading eyes.

At that moment, I wished I had “passion wand” I could wave over my coaching client to instantly imbibe her with the ability to feel the energizing, intoxicating and empowering effects that passion has. But instead, it’s a private quest.

If passion is what we want, and we’re not experiencing it, we must dig, we must get to the bottom of whatever walls we have built that are in the way of the passion we so long to feel.

At lunch with friends, we discuss the waning and wavering currents of passion, of the longing to feel more, to experience more. Without it, we are dry, crusty, dull, like winter skin. The colors of our lives are dimmer, the texture may be smoother (easier to swallow, like oatmeal, or chicken broth), but the flavor is bland and tasteless.

In another conversation with my passion-seeking client, we come upon the topic of how she handles grief, pain, and how she has created a very structured and reliable way to get through any hardship or devastation. “I feel sad for a little while, then I tell myself, okay, that’s enough. It’s a waste of time to spend my energy feeling sad or hurt.” Bam, I realize. We have hit pay-dirt.

When you shut off the valve of feeling “bad” feelings, when you limit yourself as to what emotions you will permit yourself to feel or not feel, and for how long, when you are monitoring and controlling any feelings, you are also limiting your ability to experience the powerful and life-affirming juice that passion provides- extreme joy, intense desire, consuming sensuality, perhaps even mind-blowing orgasms.

When you disallow yourself to feel anything, you disable your ability to fully feel everything.

Imagine having a beautiful, large, crystal blue pool, with a ‘kiddie’ side, where the water is crisp, refreshing and shallow. You can hang out on that side all the time, lounging, floating on a raft, splashing around. But there’s so much more pool for you to enjoy.

Going deep, exploring the width and the depth of your beautiful pool is what makes life exciting and rich. Sure, the shallow end is nice. But you have so much pool to experience.

How do you experience passion? Some of us take new lovers and live for days of stolen moments and melancholic longing. Some of us create art. Some of us channel passion through our heart-centered businesses, or gratifying work. Some of us dance. I think it matters less how you feel it and more so that you feel it. Just feel it.

If you’re not experiencing passion, there is a chance you may have shut off a valve deep in your soul, to protect yourself from feeling painful feelings, and in doing so, you have cut yourself off from your very own life-blood, the power and beauty that passion creates.

You turned off the fuse box. No wonder the house is dark.

It’s also likely you are not plugging into the things that turn you on. Ever go nuts trying to figure out why your lamp won’t turn on, to finally realize it wasn’t plugged in? Or wander around the house flicking light switches when the power is out, and continuing to be surprised that the lights are not going on? Same thing.

Passion is fuel. It’s power. It gets stuff done. It can be intoxicating. It’s the best drug available to wo/mankind. It’s the electricity that lights your life, it gives you vision and courage and might. It flavors all areas of your life and transforms the mundane into artistry, magic, adventure.

If you want to experience more passion, you must do two things:

  1. Ask yourself “what makes me come alive?” and then do more of those things, whenever and where ever you can.
  2. Ask yourself “where in my life have I created a wall between myself and the depths of my feelings? Where have I cut myself off from the range of feeling it all?” Then do the work to deconstruct those walls.

These acts are not for wimps. The second one, especially. But even just one brick taken from that wall will create a path for passion to seep through.

You will feel more. That means the sting of rejection. The enveloping pain of sadness. The fiery fury of rage. Passion is intensity, and you can’t just feel some of the intense feelings. You’ll have to feel them all.

My life without passion is nothing. I don’t want any part of my life shut down or closed off. I don’t want any part of my experience limited by my fear of feeling too much.

It isn’t always easy. But it’s always worth it.

We have so much pool to experience. Let’s experience it all. Let’s dive and swim and play in the deep end. And watch passion come pouring in.

 

 

 

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Originally posted April 2014.

If It Feels Good…

tumblr_n8h069Wk6V1qc64bxo1_250As I sit down to write this morning, the steady rhythm of a rain shower as my background music, I open wide my office French doors in order to take it in, to breathe in the sweet summer air and better hear the rain song, I think “this is what she’s talking about.”

Who is she, you ask? And what is she talking about? Dr. Christine Northrup, and I’m reading her latest book, “Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being” and it’s a game-changer.

I have innately known, for my whole life, really, that pleasure is my birthright. However, it’s easy to forget what we innately know. Especially when truth is indoctrinated out of us!

I’ve been contemplating pleasure as a spiritual path for years, ever since I gave up the tired and unpleasant notion that my capacity for pleasure and my spirituality were two separate things, that “pleasures of the flesh” as they called them in church was another term for “sin.” Slowly but surely, I began to return to what I know to be true:

I am wired for pleasure.

Pleasure is my prescription for health and vitality.

There is nothing sinful about feeling good.

There is nothing shameful about feeling sexy.

Dr. Northrup says…

“Denying and demonizing pleasure has caused too many women (and men) to doubt our natural instincts that tell us that when we feel good in our bodies and hearts, we overflow with joy and abundance that spills out onto other people. Our cup runneth over, and it keeps getting refilled with pleasure, when we reconnect to Spirit.”

And then there is the science to back up our miraculous design.The biochemistry of pleasure counteracts the biochemistry of aging.

Nitric oxide (not to be confused with nitrous) is THE Grand Poo-bah of neurotransmitters and it increases and balances all of the others… oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, DMT, all of these brilliantly designed chemicals that flow through us… when we feel good.

We need these chemicals in us to feel good.

And when we laugh, when we connect, when we orgasm, when we are feeling pleasure, more nitric oxide is produced, creating more of the other chemicals that create vitality, health and happiness.

We are wired for pleasure.

Happiness (with pleasure as a proven path!) is crucial for vibrant health. Pleasure is not selfish. It’s a gift. It’s medicine. It’s necessary.

Northrup goes on to say…

“Find pleasure in your body, not just sexually, but sensually. Truly delight in tastes, sights, smells, sounds and tactile sensations such as the deep touch of a massage or the light touch of soft fabric or a feather against your skin…

Our bodies are actually designed to thrive and repair themselves through the earthly pleasure of being in a body.”

Wow. I just love this stuff… Fellow hedonists and pleasure-seekers, does this give us permission to dive face-first into our hedonism, bingeing on fattening unhealthy foods, alcohol and drugs, in the pursuit of pleasure? Sure, why not, right? Ummm…

Here’s why not: Too much of these standard pleasurable go-tos at have a counter-effect on our bodies when ingested in excess.

We all know what happens to our bodies with an excess of sugary or fatty foods. And yes, alcohol makes us feel good for a short-term, but too much alcohol over time dulls our bodies’ pathways and actually diminishes our system’s ability to create dopamine and other natural pleasure-chemicals. So we feel shittier when we’re sober, which makes us want to drink more, for that cheap and quick, though fleeting, relief.  Regular and excessive alcohol use also has the vicious-cycle affect of inflammation and oxidation, which are the sources of most pain, ailments and aging symptoms.  Am I suggesting you quit using these pleasurable substances altogether, and go ‘au natural’ in your pleasure-seeking? Only if that’s what you’re feeling called toward.

What I am suggesting is that both you and me crank up the dial on our intention to mindfully seek opportunities for pleasure. From the mundane and everyday rituals to the extreme peak experiences.

More intentional, healthy pleasure, YES!

I’ve committed to three acts of pleasure each morning before starting my workday.  And oh, what fun I had this morning. Within a half hour, I had given myself a mini-aromatherapy session with lavender oil (proven to increase feelings of happiness and well-being), danced to a few of my favorite dance songs, and had a short and very sweet private session with myself and a few toe-curling moments.. yeah, that’s pleasure, all right! Ain’t no shame!

I’m simply taking Dr. Northrup’s professional medical advice very seriously!

“My prescription for general health is to experience more pleasure… We have forgotten the importance of pleasure and we need to remember how to experience it regularly- as a daily part of life.”

Will you join me, and commit to three acts of pleasure before you get your day rolling each morning? A conspiracy of pleasure! For our health?! Hell yeah!

No more holding back from pleasure. It’s our birthright. It’s science. It’s our prescription. Doctor’s orders.

Let’s get it on!

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I want to hear from you! Share your three pleasures today in the comments below!

Join me for a pleasure-focused WomenCircle, Wednesday 7/1, space is limited: Sexy & I Know It, in Dallas!

The Life-Affirming, Tantalizing, Divine Power of a Crush

16It’s ridiculously easy for me to develop a fast and furious crush. Especially in the springtime. I feel alive and new and it sure seems like life is flirting with me. And I let myself be seduced by the deliciousness life lures me with, to feel. To feel as much as possible.

For me, a crush comes on like a wildfire, usually unbidden and unexpected. It may be on someone in a coffee shop, a celebrity, a new song, a new band, a view from my window, a group of new friends, a new lovely spot to sit and think in, a smell, a color, a texture, a new season and its showy flirtations, the touch of my lover, my own amazing self, rediscovered. I allow the feeling to sweep me away, that feeling of being in myself deeply, yet outside of myself, at the same time.

This is powerful energy, the energy of a crush. It stirs me and shakes me and feels like an obsession, and I allow the obsession to take over, for a few minutes or hours or days, and soon, on its own healthy terms, it dissipates, like the light misty spring drizzle that starts out as a storm, like a spinning, dizzying carnival ride, that lets me off almost as quickly as it starts. It goes away quietly sometimes, suddenly at other times.

And in its wake, I am left feeling alive. Pulsing with reality. Fierce with the potential for passion.

A crush makes you electric, makes your blood move through your veins at rushing, palpable speeds, makes the world more vibrant and colorful, makes you more vibrant and colorful to the world.

This is good stuff!

So then why are we afraid of crushes? Are we afraid of losing control? Of making bad choices? Of getting so caught up in them, we risk losing what matters most? Are we afraid of slipping into something sinister, something confusing, something vulnerable?

At one time in my life, it wasn’t safe for me to develop crushes. I didn’t trust myself, probably because I wasn’t trustworthy. But as I’ve evolved and as my healing path continues to unfold, I’m learning and becoming who I truly am, and I’m becoming implicitly committed to myself, my relationship and my own whole and healed heart, I’m not afraid of myself anymore.

When you trust yourself implicitly, a crush is a safe and delicious way to enrich your experience of being alive, of being human.

When you have in place your own boundaries, when you know what you will allow to tickle your existence, and only tickle… when you know exactly who you want to be, and you trust and believe in yourself and your commitments, while also understanding the pure chemical reactions and delicious sensations indulging a crush invites you to experience, you can crush deeply and intensely, and risk nothing.

When you allow the intensity of emotions to spin you round and round, to turn you upside down, to shift your innards and tickle your skin, you get to feel some of the best stuff life has to offer.

Dopamine, endorphins, seratonin, oxytocin, all these wonderful, wondrous feel-good drugs and our own bodies are the pharmacy! We are designed for our own pleasure, and feeling these feelings pleases the divine!

What if “crushing” was designed by the divine to actually bring you closer to the godliness, the perfection, the divinity, that you are?

Living in restraint, avoiding feelings, avoiding the richness of head-over-heels crazy crush moments is possible. But yawn… so boring!

You are wired for the delectable joys and sensations and delights of a human being in love with the world! So pick your crush. Let it have its way with your body, with your feelings and sensastions, and the way you experience the world and the world experiences you. Let it run through you like a wild, roaring, crashing wave, while you keep your soul and mind and commitments in tact and in charge. It’s safe.

You’re safe.

So what will let yourself crush on?

 

 

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photo by dee hill, hamu by vivienne vermuth

 

Wing-spreading Time is Officially Here

maddi movingMy daughter, my only offspring, my womanchild, smack dab in the middle of her 18th and 19th birthdays, is on the other side of this wall, in her room, right now, singing and packing. Packing to move into her first apartment with friends, this weekend. She is spreading her wings. She is flying away.

As we drove around today, prowling liquor stores for free boxes, we talked about the move, her new life, her choices, her path, and I find myself coming to terms with her bold and brave decision. What choice do I have, at this point? Sure, I could foster and nurture this resistance, that would be easy. But I know this: My resistance is rooted in fear. My fear does not support her. I want to support her. And God knows, she only grows more stubborn and hell-bent when feeling judged or unsupported. She is a Taurus, after all, and she is her mother’s daughter.

Our conversation bounced all over the place, my mind flooding with questions, fears, excitement, acceptance, resistance. I was feeling all the feelings, all at once. I wondered (wonder) did I give her enough? Did I teach her enough? Did I do my best?

I’ve seen the movie “About Time” twice in one week, now. If you haven’t seen it, you should; it’s beautiful. The premise is a common one, time travel, but the focus is on finding bliss in our “extraordinary, ordinary lives”… cherishing every moment, big moments, small moments, bringing to life as much noticing and awareness as we can, so that we might savor, and not squander, our days. This movie made me cry with jealousy. No fair. I want to go back in time. I want to savor those moments with my daughter again- those ridiculously busy days- I’d love to go back and be less busy. I’d like to stop more. Play more. To squat down and meet her eyes and listen, with my full presence.

I used to think it was a cliché parents would say to each other “They grow up so fast.” Now I know it’s a cliché for a reason. Because it’s utterly and ridiculously true. They DO grow up so fast. And now, as she heads into her future, forging her own path, there are things I want to make sure she knows.

Maddi, are you reading this?

Seek only your own approval. “Someday I will make you proud.” You said to me, today. I nearly broke down weeping. What? You already do make me proud. You are an amazing, insightful, brilliant young woman with the strongest sense of self I’ve ever known in someone your age, hell, even beyond your age.  What makes me proud is you being you, your strong spirit, your will, your courage, your creativity. But here’s the thing. Your life should not be lived for anyone else’s peace of mind, pride or pleasing. I appreciate you valuing my opinion, but ultimately, making yourself proud is the only pride that matters. The world is full of opinions. I may not always approve of your choices. But I don’t need to. Do you approve of your choices?

You will make mistakes. We learn how to manage money by first mismanaging it. We create boundaries when our boundaries have been crossed. We learn to be loyal to ourselves by betraying ourselves. We learn how to pay bills on time by having the power shut off. It happens. You will make mistakes. Just learn from them, ‘kay?

Learn to listen, really listen, to your intuition. You have an incredible, fail-proof inner navigation system, and it’s accessible to you anytime you need guidance. Sure, others can chime in. You can get your tarot cards read, your friends can give you advice. I am always there to talk things through. But allow these outer sources to simply be clarifying aids toward the wisdom within you. Look for signs, confirmations, clues and synchronicities on the outside that validate the truth that’s available to you on the inside.  Pay special attention to those feelings when something isn’t right. It’s your own inner tuning fork. It knows what’s up. Trust yourself. Trust your boundaries.

Oh, those precious boundaries… If you have ever had the perfect opportunity to figure out what yours are, this is it. Nothing like living with two roommates to help with that. Often, we don’t know where our boundaries are, until they’ve been crossed… “Hey, that felt shitty.” Or “No. Did not like that one bit.” Speak your mind. Even when your voice may tremble or falter, speak. Even when they might not like what you have to say, say it. If you can learn this now, the rest of your life will be that much easier. Trust me on this. Trust me on all of this…

But mostly, trust yourself. You are trustworthy. You are capable. You are brave. You are forging your own path, trusting your own desire. You got this, baby.

Funny this song should come on at this moment, as I type, Elsewhere, by Sarah McLachlan. I’ve always loved it, but now it makes a different kind of sense. It’s for you, Maddi…

“I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I’ll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand?
Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
the mold that clings like desperation…
Mother can’t you see I’ve got
to live my life the way I feel is right for me
might not be right for you but it’s right for me…
I believe…”

Dreading, trudging, pushing through?

“I wish this day would end.”

“I’m so ready for this week to be over…”

“Could this day move any slower?”

We’ve all said or thought things like this.

Sure, we all have crappy days.  Those days that feel like pushing, more than flowing, days that exhaust us, challenge us, piss us off or just seem to be in the way of what we’d rather be doing.

But think about this: when this day is over, you will be one day closer to the end of your life.

When this week is done, you will be one week closer to your death.

With each passing moment, each passing day, we are one day closer to the last day.

With each breath we are closer to our last breath.

I love living. The idea of my pending death… I prefer to not think about it. You know those people that are at peace with their mortality? I’m not one of those, yet. And even if I was, I’d still want to make the most of every single breathing, living, waking moment I’d been given.

Your life is a gift. And it’s temporary. So why spend even one thought wishing you were one day, week, or moment, closer to its end?

Here’s the truth: If you are finding yourself spending much of your time wishing this day would end, wishing this week would be over, living for the weekend, dreading Mondays, dreading any part of your life, on a regular, consistent basis, your life is calling you to examine it, and make some changes.

Something is out of alignment. Where and how you spend your time is not in alignment with your values. Or your desires. Or your soul.

Is it a bad day? Or the wrong job?

Is it a rough week? Or a relationship that is no longer thriving?

Wouldn’t it better serve you instead to find a way to make those days feel so good you don’t want them to end?

Even in your current circumstance, there are ways to shift your perception so that you feel happier.

Many years ago, when I was an administrative assistant for a software sales company, I felt stifled and stagnant. The work itself kept me busy, but there were parts of me that were not getting expressed, like my creativity.

I would spend a lot of time wishing for my days to be over. Getting through the week. But then I realized I was there, the pay was good, the people were nice enough, what could I do to feel less miserable? I started an interoffice bulletin board with weekly contests, baby picture games and other fun stuff for us to share with each other. I loved seeing people huddled around the board each day. I created a loaning library for the sales team.

I had a choice. I could stay miserable, because parts of me were not being expressed. I could quit. I could sabotage myself so I got fired. Or I could make the best of where I was, I could bloom where I was planted. I could make myself happier, right then. Right there.

Instead of spending your precious moments wishing for time to pass quickly, spend that energy figuring out how to make yourself happier, right here, right now. Spend that time creating your plan for a life that pleases you.

Life is too short to be miserable.

It’s in your control. And you are always at choice. Moment by moment.

The Perfection of Obeying Desire

Meeting my friend, Stephanie at White Rock Lake for a walk and talk this morning, I grabbed my journal, planning to stay after and enjoy some lakeside reflection and writing.

It’s a perfect day, a most beautiful day at the very start of spring and the world is alive, the lake is in a great mood and I am blissful.

We walk for longer than I’d anticipated, an hour, and when we are done, she invites me to join her and another friend for lunch, but I say I have to get back, I get in my car, she gets in hers and she drives behind me, around the lake. I am not really ready to leave. I don’t want to. It’s so beautiful. So perfect. I wanted to stay and write in the sun, with the lake at my lap… Reason jumped in to present her argument against the whole crazy idea…

But you already told her you couldn’t go to lunch and had to get back.

But you have to get to work, it’s already 11.

But you have so much to do.

But you’ve already spent an hour at the lake, isn’t that enough?

But you just journaled yesterday… you don’t really need to do it again today.

But Stephanie is following you and will wonder why you’ve turned around. Maybe she’ll be worried.

I drove on, my heart longing to return to the lake.

There will be a next time.

You have all spring to go to the lake.

“But I wanna go back NOW!” Desire interrupted Reason, and put her foot down.

And then, surprising myself, I obeyed my desire.  I turned around. I went back to the lake. I found a perfect spot and planted my fanny in the cool grass, under a tree, facing the lake and smiled at the lake, and at myself for being so smart. For giving myself this gift.

I sat. I wrote. I talked to God, I breathed, deep, sweet breaths.  And I realized obeying Desire wasn’t an act of rebellion against Reason, as much as it was a gift I gave to myself.

Now I am back home, working, being productive, and hours later I’m still buzzing off of my sweet date with the lake. There is still plenty time for work, when I take time for pleasure. Pleasure is my birthright. And putting off pleasure is a form of masochism. Obeying desire is divine.

What desire have you been denying, in trade of any garden variety of fill-in-the-blank “Buts”?

And would anything BAD happen if you obeyed that desire? On the contrary. My bet is that you would feel better… more connected to yourself, to divinity, happier, more joyful, more peaceful, and that the ripple effects of feeling good would affect other areas of your life, as well.

We are designed for pleasure. Desire informs our personal pleasure map, like nothing else.

Let your desire inform you. And obey.

A Confession, an Intention and an Invitation

Aww Yeah! Happy 2013!

It feels great to be back in action after a couple of strange and off-schedule weeks!

Confession time: I must admit, while there are certain parts of the holidays I enjoy (twinkly lights, sparkly things, pretty decorations…) for the most part, I find myself resistant to the holiday season, the pressure to feel “holiday cheer” and jolly fa-la-la and all that other stuff. I feel pressured to feel a certain way, all this supposed holiday cheer gets shoved down our throats, and then when I’m NOT feeling it, I feel “less than”… Like “everybody else has the holiday spirit… What’s wrong with me?”

I am sensitive to the pressure that surrounds the season. To buy, to do, to bake, to buy, to wrap, to ship, to buy… Friends and loved ones tell me “there is no pressure”… And perhaps they are right, perhaps it’s ME pressuring myself… I just know it usually feels like I’m “pushing through” the season and geez, I am always so relieved when the holi-daze are over. Feels like an exhale.

Whew… I know, I sound like Ebenezer Scrooge. But I know I’m not alone! And I also know that folded into the layers of my yucky holiday grumpiness exists an invitation to grow, to heal old wounds, to open parts of me that may be closed, and someday discover a deeper capacity for joy and cheer that holiday pressures cannot faze.

I’m glad to be back to feeling joy because I want to feel joy. Giving because I want to give. Feeling cheer because it’s genuinely bubbling from within me. No pressure. 😉

And now, that I’m in a brand new year, HOT DAMN, I’m excited! This is the time of year that I feel most alive, full of potential, ideas, determination, boldness and daring.

Instead of “resolutions” that feel like restrictions, I prefer a kinder approach, setting intentions and letting my desires guide me.

For me this year, 2013 is going to be the year of Exquisite Self-Love.

The words popped into my head out of nowhere during my Old Year/New Year Circle. I’m not even quite sure what they mean, yet. But I’m excited to find out.

What I DO know about Exquisite Self-Love is that it will require diligence on my part. To love myself and be loved by myself… Exquisitely… I’m up for it.

It starts with the way that I talk to myself. The things I say to myself, about myself. It continues with the choices I make for myself.

“What would Exquisite Self-Love do?” This will be the question I’ll be asking, time and time again this year. To allow my desires to be my internal GPS system… To give to myself the respect and adoration I’ve withheld or avoided… To honor and listen to my body…. To simply be as sweet as I can be, to me… I’m game.

What’s your intention for 2013? How will your desire guide you? I invite you to BOLDLY declare what your 2013 will be. Post below! I wanna know!

 

 

Back to Bliss, and some big announcements…

Oooooh yeah… I write this from the strangest place, something has shifted, I feel odd… Lightheaded, ecstatic, warm, tingly, sensitive, opened… Can’t really explain it except for the fact that I am certain it has to do with the cosmic and planetary shift we are moving into. (And my openness to experience such!)

As I write, it is 12.12.12… A magical day for us all, as we move through this portal into peace and love, where everything is different. Are you ready?

You may be noticing, like me, a surge in energy, productivity, creation. You may also be experiencing intense emotions, maybe even loss. Last night, our family dog Roxy, passed away suddenly. I was able to pet her warm sweet body, kiss her and send her love into next realm. It was intense, awful, yet peaceful and full of loving energy. Today I ride waves of sadness and grief, which suddenly shift into waves of glee and bliss… I can’t explain it any other way except I feel altered. Altered state of consciousness.

I’m also experiencing a “relapse” in my hip and spine, the sciatica and piriformis pain which I had thought was under control. I am there again, the intensity of the pain at times bringing me to tears. Waves of anger, frustration, and then, from out of nowhere, waves of love and acceptance. Trust and surrender. Back to bliss.

Wow… I am riding these powerful waves. Curious. Intrigued. Captivated. Surrendered. In love.

Back to bliss. Back to bliss. Whatever comes at us, we return back to bliss. We can. We will. We are! It’s our birthright!

Big things ahead! For us all.

I’m so excited to announce that I published my first book yesterday. Truth or Dare Living: Wild Adventures for Your Sacred, Sexy Soul. Please buy a copy and join me for the adventure! It’s not just a book you read, it’s a book you DO! C’mon, I dare ya!

Lastly, but not leastly! I couldn’t be more thrilled to be launching a brand new membership program with the my amazing soul sister, Megan Monique, called Prosperity Playground. If you’re ready for big shifts around finances in 2013, like we are, jump aboard and join us on this trip! Oh yeah, baby!

There are amazing, incredible, great big things awaiting you and me in 2013. Can you feel it? Let’s do this.

P.S. I invite you to consider gifting the women you love with SacredSexyU gifts! I’ve got some ideas you might enjoy

 

photo by Dee Hill

Watch out below… Plummeting mood!

I’ve been noticing something interesting lately. I’ve been starting out my days on a high vibration, fiercely grateful, mindfully approaching every task with presence, joy… All ooey-gooey and overflowing with love. And I move through my day, completing tasks. Or not. Bouncing around from one priority to another. One diversion to another.

And then, at some point, BAM. I crash. I don’t just crash. I plummet. My mood shifts dramatically. I go from “joyous bearer of light” to “bitch on wheels”. Just like that. Or so it seems.

I look at my sweet Facebook posts from the morning and roll my eyes at myself. I think bad thoughts. I make careless mistakes. I’m stressed and tired and off-kilter.

All that overflowing, ooey-gooey love has coagulated and turned into something much less appetizing, viscous and dry. I am hard and closed and cranky. I dislike. I complain. I judge. I worry. I feel overwhelmed and feral. Not fit for human interaction.

What is this shift? Why does it happen? So suddenly it seems, yet maybe if I look closely, not so sudden at all.

For a while I thought it was a sugar crash. Or a hormonal imbalance. Or demon possession.  But today, I’m realizing it’s something way more subtle and insidious. And really, quite simple…

I haven’t checked in with myself.

All tangled up in the doing, going, creating, replying, forwarding, posting, planning, I’ve wandered away from myself.

It makes perfect sense. I start my day with ritual. I make my coffee. I light candles. I journal. I read. I pray. It’s no wonder I’m full of love and light!

And then, little by little, I disconnect from myself, from Source. I forget to check in. I ignore the desire to stretch. I hold my pee for ridiculous lengths of time.

I’ve decided here and now to take up a new daily practice. A simple practice called stopping. Remember lunch hours? I used to have them in corporate America. I kinda miss those.

I will check in. Ask myself what I want, feel and need. I will tune in, jump off the grid for a few minutes. Refuel.  Start my midday the way I start my morning. Wow. What a concept. And why not?  I heard a woman say to another woman who was complaining about her back-breaking busy schedule… “Wow… Who on earth is responsible for treating you that way? Who’s the tyrant that manages your schedule?” Yes, it was sarcastic. In a loving sort of way.

“You get out of balance because you aren’t listening to your inner life, because you aren’t meeting your challenges of your life with any input from the inside. you haven’t given yourself enough time to know what you think or feel.”
– Jennifer Louden, “Comfort Secrets for Busy Women”

I’m ready to try something new. To restore my balance midday in order to experience more joy.  And this epiphany I am gifted with when I stop to check in with myself.

What shifts or changes are you ready to make? What truth is waiting for you, if you simply check in with yourself?

I’m off to restore and renew now… See you on the other side of my day. Most likely, in a much better mood.