passion

Desperately Seeking Passion

Artist unknown

“I just want to feel passion… I don’t think I’ve ever felt it.” She said, looking at me with pleading eyes.

At that moment, I wished I had “passion wand” I could wave over my coaching client to instantly imbibe her with the ability to feel the energizing, intoxicating and empowering effects that passion has. But instead, it’s a private quest.

If passion is what we want, and we’re not experiencing it, we must dig, we must get to the bottom of whatever walls we have built that are in the way of the passion we so long to feel.

At lunch with friends, we discuss the waning and wavering currents of passion, of the longing to feel more, to experience more. Without it, we are dry, crusty, dull, like winter skin. The colors of our lives are dimmer, the texture may be smoother (easier to swallow, like oatmeal, or chicken broth), but the flavor is bland and tasteless.

In another conversation with my passion-seeking client, we come upon the topic of how she handles grief, pain, and how she has created a very structured and reliable way to get through any hardship or devastation. “I feel sad for a little while, then I tell myself, okay, that’s enough. It’s a waste of time to spend my energy feeling sad or hurt.” Bam, I realize. We have hit pay-dirt.

When you shut off the valve of feeling “bad” feelings, when you limit yourself as to what emotions you will permit yourself to feel or not feel, and for how long, when you are monitoring and controlling any feelings, you are also limiting your ability to experience the powerful and life-affirming juice that passion provides- extreme joy, intense desire, consuming sensuality, perhaps even mind-blowing orgasms.

When you disallow yourself to feel anything, you disable your ability to fully feel everything.

Imagine having a beautiful, large, crystal blue pool, with a ‘kiddie’ side, where the water is crisp, refreshing and shallow. You can hang out on that side all the time, lounging, floating on a raft, splashing around. But there’s so much more pool for you to enjoy.

Going deep, exploring the width and the depth of your beautiful pool is what makes life exciting and rich. Sure, the shallow end is nice. But you have so much pool to experience.

How do you experience passion? Some of us take new lovers and live for days of stolen moments and melancholic longing. Some of us create art. Some of us channel passion through our heart-centered businesses, or gratifying work. Some of us dance. I think it matters less how you feel it and more so that you feel it. Just feel it.

If you’re not experiencing passion, there is a chance you may have shut off a valve deep in your soul, to protect yourself from feeling painful feelings, and in doing so, you have cut yourself off from your very own life-blood, the power and beauty that passion creates.

You turned off the fuse box. No wonder the house is dark.

It’s also likely you are not plugging into the things that turn you on. Ever go nuts trying to figure out why your lamp won’t turn on, to finally realize it wasn’t plugged in? Or wander around the house flicking light switches when the power is out, and continuing to be surprised that the lights are not going on? Same thing.

Passion is fuel. It’s power. It gets stuff done. It can be intoxicating. It’s the best drug available to wo/mankind. It’s the electricity that lights your life, it gives you vision and courage and might. It flavors all areas of your life and transforms the mundane into artistry, magic, adventure.

If you want to experience more passion, you must do two things:

  1. Ask yourself “what makes me come alive?” and then do more of those things, whenever and where ever you can.
  2. Ask yourself “where in my life have I created a wall between myself and the depths of my feelings? Where have I cut myself off from the range of feeling it all?” Then do the work to deconstruct those walls.

These acts are not for wimps. The second one, especially. But even just one brick taken from that wall will create a path for passion to seep through.

You will feel more. That means the sting of rejection. The enveloping pain of sadness. The fiery fury of rage. Passion is intensity, and you can’t just feel some of the intense feelings. You’ll have to feel them all.

My life without passion is nothing. I don’t want any part of my life shut down or closed off. I don’t want any part of my experience limited by my fear of feeling too much.

It isn’t always easy. But it’s always worth it.

We have so much pool to experience. Let’s experience it all. Let’s dive and swim and play in the deep end. And watch passion come pouring in.

 

 

 

*************
Originally posted April 2014.

Be Your Valentine: The Bad-Ass Brazen Art of Self-Devotion

de·vo·tion [dih-voh-shuhn] noun

1. profound dedication; consecration.
2. earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.
3. strong attachment (to) or affection (for a cause, person, etc) marked by dedicated loyalty.

Devotion is my new favorite word. Not only do I love the way it sounds… delightful… divine… devotion. I love what it means.

What are you devoted to?

These days, I’m cultivating a sweet self-devotion. Which turns the definition into THIS:

self-devotion [self-dih-voh-shuhn] noun

1. profound dedication to me; consecration to myself
2. earnest attachment to moi
3. strong attachment (to) or affection (for a cause, person, etc) marked by dedicated loyalty to my own self!

YEAAAH, that’s what I’m talking about.

What does that mean for me? What are the implications of this commitment? Well, there are many. New ones pop up daily, in fact.

Today, self-devotion means…

– listening to my body when this head cold has knocked me down for a rest
– checking in to see what I really want to do, eat, drink.
– napping because that’s what I need
– clearing my schedule as an act of self-care, in spite of that critical voice that says I could not/should not do so.
– pajamas, all day long.

Other days it’s much more serious, and more difficult, uncomfortable, vulnerable:

– standing up for myself when I feel disrespected by a peer
– expressing an unspoken insecurity to my partner
– refusing to be mistreated by a cranky cashier

Now, more than ever, I am realizing how every choice I make is either an act of self-devotion, or it is not. It either helps me feel lighter, or creates a sense of heaviness. It either feels like love or feels like fear.

Wanting to devote to yourself? Here’s the interesting thing. You don’t have to feel any certain “preliminary” way toward yourself to act in devoted ways. In fact, the decision to devote to yourself is followed by actions and choices, and those actions and choices create profound self-love.

Self-devotion cultivates trust, and with devoted practice, a sweet and romantic, everlasting loyalty and kindness to oneself will blossom.

Keep in mind, self-devotion is an act of audacity. A bold and brazen promise to yourself, to dote on yourself, to spoil yourself with lavish attention and affection.

Are your choices today a reflection of someone who is devoted to herself? And if they are not, can you start now? What one loving choice can you make as an act of self-devotion?

This Valentine’s Day, first and foremost, be your own Valentine, always and forever, for better or for worse.

After all, lovers come and lovers go, but you… you will always have you.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha

 
 
Originally published February 2013.

Undress Your Desires

There was a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than a pair of designer jeans.

I’m talking deep, red hot, burning desire.

I’m talking my whole-life-will-change-when-I-get-these-jeans desire.

I’m talking my life– my real life—will finally start once I get these jeans. I was about eleven, and I was really ready for my life to finally start.

I didn’t care if they were Sergio Valente, Vidal Sassoon or Jordache. Just give me the jeeeeeans.

I wished for them. I prayed for them. I asked Santa for them, even though I had my doubts about his existence by that time.

I never did get them. And I survived. I even forgot about this desire, for years, til I stumbled across this meme today.

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I even ended up having a pretty fabulous life without the jeans, after the horrors and traumas of middle school were far behind me, of course.

Desire is getting a lot of attention these days. We have The Secret, which tells us that by using the Law of Attraction, we can have anything and everything we want. We have teachers like Danielle LaPorte, author of The Desire Map, (I highly recommend) encouraging us to build our entire lives based on how we want to feel. We have no shortage of “desire-ology” available to us today. I love it. I think it’s important.

Yes, it is important to want what we want. But I think often, something important gets lost in all this wanting.

So what is the point of desire? Desire is a heat-generating power center in our bodies. Just desiring alone may be the point. Longing and desire are stimulating, energizing forces. Yes, contentedness feels nice.

Desire feels like fire.

When we cultivate desire, we turn up the heat in that energy center. It lives in our belly. It gets activated when we desire. You know what else gets activated? Creativity. Passion. Aliveness. Desire lights us up. And being lit up is a great thing to be, and will affect all areas of your life.

Desires change, just like we do. Things I wanted ten years ago I don’t want anymore. And I definitely don’t care about designer jeans anymore.

Allow for the fluidity of changing desires. Allow your desires to change, to give birth to desires that match newer versions of you.

Also remember when desiring, it’s not really about the thing, it’s about how we think it will make us feel.

Desire is informative. It tells us how we want to feel.

So what is it that I really wanted, underneath the desire for those designer jeans? I wanted to feel cool. I wanted to feel confident and self-assured and comfortable in my body, like the girls at school who wore them seemed to feel. What I didn’t know at that young and naive stage in my life is that jeans could not give that to me. A lifetime of inner work, healing, awareness and growth would be my path to those feelings.

YES, want what you want.

Allow yourself to feel that red hot fiery energy of desire.

Be curious with your desires.

Under every desire is another desire, and another, and they usually have less to do with the thing itself, and more to do with the feelings you think having that thing will give you.

So let’s say for example, you peel away the layers of your desire for a certain red convertible. When you peel away the layers, you realize, what you really want is to feel freedom. What you want to feel is fast, thrilling flow, adventure and exhilaration and wind through your hair.

Don’t wait for the car. How can you feel those feelings today?

Want what you want. Be unapologetic for wanting. Be brazen. So what if it’s “unrealistic”.

Feel the fire of desire. Allow that fire to fuel you, your creativity, your work, your relationships. Let desire light you up.

Feel it in your body. Locate it. Give it words. Let it become sensation. Lose the language. Feel the fire.

Undress your desires. Layer by layer, until you find yourself at the kernel of truth, of wisdom buried deep within it.

Be flexible with your desires. Rigidity is boring. Fluidity and openness and trusting in what is beyond your little human brain and its limited capacity for ideas and possibilities is way more fun.

What what you want, and know why you want it.

The Bravest Girl I Know

maddi fairy

Later this week, my daughter and I hit the road as I accompany her toward the next chapter of her adventurous life.

Maddi, who just turned 20, has decided to spend her summer working on an organic farm in Colorado. The trip will take us 13 hours, if we don’t stop. But we will. I want it to last.

This only child of mine, this brave, intelligent, bold and beautiful woman is my favorite person to be with. She’s funny, sensitive, insightful and has always been wise beyond her years.

This spirit of adventure that she possesses burns in her like a fire, and she takes on experiences like no one I’ve ever been.

Shortly after high school, she signed her first apartment lease.  Later the next year, she took a five week road trip all over the country with her best friend. She camped on the beach, she talked to strangers, she wandered unknown towns and cities, deserts and shores. She saw, firsthand, beauty I’ve only seen in photos.

Earlier this year, she saved her money, got a passport, and followed her heart across the ocean, to meet her British beau who she had only known previously online. She spent two weeks in the UK, returning home with London calling, new experiences morphed into new dreams and desires.

She bravely makes art. She bravely makes money making art.

She is a gentle spirit but is not one to be taken advantage of. She is sweet, but no pushover. She is a Taurus, and stubborn as hell when she wants to be, and will buck and fight hard for her convictions. This is the child after all, who at age eight, wrote her dad and I an essay on why she wanted to be a vegetarian after months and months of our meat-loving resistance.  She has been a vegetarian ever since.

She has a sense of self that has surprised me since she was a tiny girl. It’s always been there, strong and sturdy, even through some challenging times during her adolescence, even while some of her peers struggled in frightening, heartbreaking ways. Even when her house was split in two, and she learned how to have two beds, two homes, she’s faced it all with courage.

She’s wild and tender, she’s fire and water.

She faces the world with curiosity, openness, willingness, boldness, and her heart in the shape of a big fat YES.

I want to be more like her.

As I think about her embarking on this new chapter, one full of mysteries and unknowns, bravely walking away from what is safe and familiar– her job, her friends, her parents, the only hometown she remembers, to see what is out there for her, my eyes well with tears.10264893_1442653222639366_400777618122208778_n

Of course I worry, like any mama, I worry a lot. But mostly, I champion for her. My heart pounds for her, my prayer is that the world will treat her gently and kindly, and if they do not, she can turn back around, she can change direction, she can try something new, she can always come home, she can always change her mind.

I hope her dad and I, and the people who love her, have instilled in her the tools and traits she needs out there, I think we have.

But funny thing is, I am who I am for the tools and traits she’s instilled in me.

Maddi, I’m rooting for you. Go be wild. Be brave. See it all. Taste it all. Feel it all. The world awaits you.

The Life-Affirming, Tantalizing, Divine Power of a Crush

16It’s ridiculously easy for me to develop a fast and furious crush. Especially in the springtime. I feel alive and new and it sure seems like life is flirting with me. And I let myself be seduced by the deliciousness life lures me with, to feel. To feel as much as possible.

For me, a crush comes on like a wildfire, usually unbidden and unexpected. It may be on someone in a coffee shop, a celebrity, a new song, a new band, a view from my window, a group of new friends, a new lovely spot to sit and think in, a smell, a color, a texture, a new season and its showy flirtations, the touch of my lover, my own amazing self, rediscovered. I allow the feeling to sweep me away, that feeling of being in myself deeply, yet outside of myself, at the same time.

This is powerful energy, the energy of a crush. It stirs me and shakes me and feels like an obsession, and I allow the obsession to take over, for a few minutes or hours or days, and soon, on its own healthy terms, it dissipates, like the light misty spring drizzle that starts out as a storm, like a spinning, dizzying carnival ride, that lets me off almost as quickly as it starts. It goes away quietly sometimes, suddenly at other times.

And in its wake, I am left feeling alive. Pulsing with reality. Fierce with the potential for passion.

A crush makes you electric, makes your blood move through your veins at rushing, palpable speeds, makes the world more vibrant and colorful, makes you more vibrant and colorful to the world.

This is good stuff!

So then why are we afraid of crushes? Are we afraid of losing control? Of making bad choices? Of getting so caught up in them, we risk losing what matters most? Are we afraid of slipping into something sinister, something confusing, something vulnerable?

At one time in my life, it wasn’t safe for me to develop crushes. I didn’t trust myself, probably because I wasn’t trustworthy. But as I’ve evolved and as my healing path continues to unfold, I’m learning and becoming who I truly am, and I’m becoming implicitly committed to myself, my relationship and my own whole and healed heart, I’m not afraid of myself anymore.

When you trust yourself implicitly, a crush is a safe and delicious way to enrich your experience of being alive, of being human.

When you have in place your own boundaries, when you know what you will allow to tickle your existence, and only tickle… when you know exactly who you want to be, and you trust and believe in yourself and your commitments, while also understanding the pure chemical reactions and delicious sensations indulging a crush invites you to experience, you can crush deeply and intensely, and risk nothing.

When you allow the intensity of emotions to spin you round and round, to turn you upside down, to shift your innards and tickle your skin, you get to feel some of the best stuff life has to offer.

Dopamine, endorphins, seratonin, oxytocin, all these wonderful, wondrous feel-good drugs and our own bodies are the pharmacy! We are designed for our own pleasure, and feeling these feelings pleases the divine!

What if “crushing” was designed by the divine to actually bring you closer to the godliness, the perfection, the divinity, that you are?

Living in restraint, avoiding feelings, avoiding the richness of head-over-heels crazy crush moments is possible. But yawn… so boring!

You are wired for the delectable joys and sensations and delights of a human being in love with the world! So pick your crush. Let it have its way with your body, with your feelings and sensastions, and the way you experience the world and the world experiences you. Let it run through you like a wild, roaring, crashing wave, while you keep your soul and mind and commitments in tact and in charge. It’s safe.

You’re safe.

So what will let yourself crush on?

 

 

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photo by dee hill, hamu by vivienne vermuth

 

The Painful Truth About Passion

artworks-000002421955-rof9qx-t200x200“I just want to feel passion… I don’t think I’ve ever felt it.” She said, looking at me with pleading eyes.

At that moment, I wished I had “passion wand” I could wave over my coaching client to instantly imbibe her with the ability to feel the energizing, intoxicating and empowering effects that passion has. But instead, it’s a private quest.

If passion is what we want, and we’re not experiencing it, we must dig, we must get to the bottom of whatever walls we have built that are in the way of the passion we so long to feel.

At lunch with friends, we discuss the waning and wavering currents of passion, of the longing to feel more, to experience more. Without it, we are dry, crusty, dull, like winter skin. The colors of our lives are dimmer, the texture may be smoother (easier to swallow, like oatmeal, or chicken broth), but the flavor is bland and tasteless.

In another conversation with my passion-seeking client, we come upon the topic of how she handles grief, pain, and how she has created a very structured and reliable way to get through any hardship or devastation. “I feel sad for a little while, then I tell myself, okay, that’s enough. It’s a waste of time to spend my energy feeling sad or hurt.” Bam, I realize. We have hit pay-dirt.

When you shut off the valve of feeling “bad” feelings, when you limit yourself as to what emotions you will permit yourself to feel or not feel, and for how long, when you are monitoring and controlling any feelings,you are also limiting your ability to experience the powerful and life-affirming juice that passion provides- extreme joy, intense desire, consuming sensuality, perhaps even mind-blowing orgasms.

When you disallow yourself to feel anything, you disable your ability to fully feel everything.

Imagine having a beautiful, large, crystal blue pool, with a ‘kiddie’ side, where the water is crisp, refreshing and shallow. You can hang out on that side all the time, lounging, floating on a raft, splashing around. But there’s so much more pool for you to enjoy.

Going deep, exploring the width and the depth of your beautiful pool is what makes life exciting and rich. Sure, the shallow end is nice. But you have so much pool to experience.

How do you experience passion? Some of us take new lovers and live for days of stolen moments and melancholic longing. Some of us create art. Some of us channel passion through our heart-centered businesses, or gratifying work. Some of us dance. I think it matters less how you feel it and more so that you feel it. Just feel it.

If you’re not experiencing passion, there is a chance you may have shut off a valve deep in your soul, to protect yourself from feeling painful feelings, and in doing so, you have cut yourself off from your very own life-blood, the power and beauty that passion creates.

You turned off the fuse box. No wonder the house is dark.

It’s also likely you are not plugging into the things that turn you on. Ever go nuts trying to figure out why your lamp won’t turn on, to finally realize it wasn’t plugged in? Or wander around the house flicking light switches when the power is out, and continuing to be surprised that the lights are not going on? Same thing.

Passion is fuel. It’s power. It gets stuff done. It can be intoxicating. It’s the best drug available to wo/mankind. It’s the electricity that lights your life, it gives you vision and courage and might. It flavors all areas of your life and transforms the mundane into artistry, magic, adventure.

If you want to experience more passion, you must do two things:

  1. Ask yourself “what makes me come alive?” and then do more of those things, whenever and where ever you can.
  2. Ask yourself “where in my life have I created a wall between myself and the depths of my feelings? Where have I cut myself off from the range of feeling it all?” Then do the work to deconstruct those walls.

These acts are not for wimps. The second one, especially. But even just one brick taken from that wall will create a path for passion to seep through.

You will feel more. That means the sting of rejection. The enveloping pain of sadness. The fiery fury of rage. Passion is intensity, and you can’t just feel some of the intense feelings. You’ll have to feel them all.

My life without passion is nothing. I don’t want any part of my life shut down or closed off. I don’t want any part of my experience limited by my fear of feeling too much.

It isn’t always easy. But it’s always worth it.

We have so much pool to experience. Let’s experience it all. Let’s dive and swim and play in the deep end. And watch passion come pouring in.

*****************

My favorite song/video about feeling it all, I Feel it All by Feist. Enjoy!

SacredSexyU Spotlight: Meet Katie Forbes!

ssu spotlightI’m excited about a new monthly feature – I’ll be gleefully spotlighting some of my amazing clients, partners and pals. These are the folks who inspire me on a regular basis, and I want to share their shining brilliance with the world. Today, meet Katie Forbes!

Katie is one of the loveliest, most generous and authentic people I know. She shows up for life with a wide open heart, and I’ve loved the time I’ve spent with her. She brings a lot of light into my life and the lives of so many others.

She’s just launched a sweet and lovely business, Dew & Beemore, that is a true extension of her bright and sparkly personality. Katie and I conversed about dreaming, planning, growing, letting go, tuning in and other sacred, sexy stuff. Check it out…

katie1Katie, you are forging a new path, developing a dream. Tell us about Dew & Beemore.

I have this tremendous heart for helping others. Dew & Beemore is a fledgling import company that helps artists, in both the US & India, make their art by financing and collaborating on new projects or purchasing their completed work, making this art accessible to people who otherwise might not have access or exposure to it, and supporting organizations that help people who really need it.

The name of your business seems to have a rich “double” meaning. Can you tell us about the concept behind the name?

I co-founded Dew & Beemore with two brothers, Farooh & Abdul, in response to our deep desire to do (Dew) and (&) be more (Beemore) with life. We three love art, but the one thing we all have a real passion for is helping others do more than they ever thought was possible and be more than they dared dream they could be.

You also work a full-time day job. How do you keep things balanced? What keeps you centered?

Ah! Balanced?! Good grief, do I do that? HAHA…  I rely heavily on my yoga and nutrition to keep my body and mind in check. Keeping the physical stressors away is The. Most. Important. Thing. I can’t hope to do anything or be anything other than a lumpy grump if my brain won’t work (poor nutrition) or my back hurts (skipping yoga). Also, personal development is a priority.  I always have a book that is in some way contributing to my understanding of the world and my place in it. Sessions with you! Having forehead on desk moments are scientifically proven to be the direct result of lapsing katie2in regular brain dumps.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of letting go, to gain; creating space to attract new brilliance… have you let go of anything recently? What did you gain?

When starting a new (ad)venture you have to come to terms with menial bank account balances for some time. I have been reminding myself that money is something that you can’t be attached to. I have let go of the attachment to my bank balance. If I spend our last 200 smackers on what my gut is telling me is the next step, then the 200 will come back when and how it is supposed to. What I have received in return is FREEDOM.

I’ve also been exploring “stuckness” and how it serves us, in the long run, as a preparation, healing or gestating time. What do you do when you feel stuck?

When I am feeling stuck, I often turn to doing something that gets me moving, physically. I haven’t decided if it is the act of setting aside, or if it is truly the act of moving that does it. Either way, physically or mentally, like any good author, I put the chapter aside for a while, and come back to it in a few days.

I’ve loved you since the day I met you, Katie! I want you to brag on yourself. What do you love most about yourself? What makes you fantastic? What are the gifts you possess that are most helpful in the growing of your dreams?  

I love you too! What I love most about myself is my heart. I love deeply and honestly. I am fair and want everyone to feel fulfilled, respected, and strong. My super power is spotting people’s strengths and showing them how to leverage them for a purpose bigger than themselves. I use this gift a couple ways,  to spot goods that an artist I know would be able to transform into something unique finding ways to leverage what Dew & Beemore is doing to improve the lives of others.

What advice do you have for people who are holding the seed of a gestating dream, but maybe have limitations of time, due to a full time job, or start up money, or even entrepreneurial experience?

Get help. HA! What I have come to realize is that there is no one who has done anything without help. Working alongside someone who can act as a mirror for frustrations and stuckness, tell you to get a grip in a loving way, and hold you accountable really alleviates the feeling of being on an island.

Time, shmime. Job, shmob. Money, shmoney. Experience, expershmearience. I’ve got none either!

I have formal training in skincare. I am a training/quality manager by day, and my hobbies include crocheting and dog training. Limitations are whatever you allow them to be. Limitations are not inherently roadblocks, they are yield signs. Are you going to be that person getting on the highway of life that stops at the yield sign? There are no engraved invitations to this party. So just do something. Screw the limits.

Thank you so much for being so Sacred and so Sexy in your sharing, Katie! Keep shining, and offering your authenticity to the world. You are a gift.

You can learn more about Dew & Beemore by visiting their website or Facebook page.

“There is a Brilliant Path Within You” An Interview with Tama Kieves

When you begin reading a new book, and one of the first things you read is this, you know this book’s gonna be a game-changer…

“Let’s face it. There aren’t many voices in the world that will encourage you to follow your inner rock star or anointed one and get out there on the window ledge of ordinary life, mock gravity and fly.  We won’t succeed through traditional means because force, fear and standard projections do not motivate us. We are moved by bold ideas, big love and intuitive, flawless direction… We did not come here to do what’s been done before. We came here to expand, inspire, heal, express create and realize the exhilaration of being everything we are meant to be.”

A game-tama1changer it was, “Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Exceeding in Your Life’s Work” by Tama Kieves. It rocked my world. So much that I couldn’t stop talking about it, posting about it, prescribing it like medicine to my visionary clients, buying extra copies as gifts and quoting from it in my blog.

One such inspired blog post got noticed, by Tama Kieves’ publicist from Penguin Publishing. Imagine my overwhelming delight, awe and wonder when I was invited to interview Tama for my blog. Pinching myself, I dove in to the opportunity.

Funny (incredible, magical, wondrous…) how things happen. I’m delighted to share the interview with you now. And you should run, not walk, to your nearest Amazon.com and grab a copy for yourself. And a few extras for your friends. It’s that good. And no, I have not been paid for this endorsement. Enjoy!

tama2
Photo courtesy of Jason Coviello

Me: Tama, you’re no stranger to leaving what feels like security and jumping into the unknown. There are so many who tolerate misery five days a week, 8 hours a day, living for the weekend, praying for the days to go by faster. What advice do you have for the “gainfully-employed”, yet mostly-miserable?

Tama: You are meant to succeed in the work you love. I am sad that so many put so many hours of their lives into something they don’t love, and so little attention into what they do love. I believe this needs to be a paradigm shift.

If you knew what living an inspired life could be, you’d put every waking second into it you could. You’d run toward this joy. So meanwhile… I always suggest that you start doing something that you love right now. Do anything you love. It will change your brain chemistry, make you feel more relaxed and happy, open you to creative ideas and brilliant insights. It will make you feel spiritually connected. You will remember that you’re not alone. You’re not small. You’re not limited. And that you do have an element you belong in. Once you taste this kind of love, you won’t settle for anything less. It doesn’t mean you have to quit a career. I just want you to follow your passion now, maybe on Wednesday nights, maybe on the weekends. Let it begin to heal and compel you. It will transform you. And you will know your own next right steps.

Many people I know are finding themselves almost “thrust” into the unknown, perhaps after getting laid off or quitting their 9-to-5s. What’s the first thing people should do when trying to figure out what to do with the rest of their lives?

Do not try to figure out your whole life. Find a way to decrease your fear. This is a spiritual journey. Find a way to get in touch with a Love and Power that gives you strength. You are not alone. There is already a path for you. I tell my clients, “You’re not going to figure this out. You’re going to let it out.”  When you think about what you want to do with your life, don’t think in terms of a job or a definition. Blurt out crazy desires. The soul speaks in the language of hunger and joy. The mind craves the known. The soul will lead you to the unknown—the infinite strength and freedom you already have and you most want to experience in this lifetime. This isn’t going to be a linear path. It’s going to be a path of following the bread crumbs, one moment at a time. Just stay in the moment.

In your book, you talk about how following our calling has little to do with our mood or feelings, and that often, pushing through when we’re not in the mood offers us growth and opportunity. What tips do you have for pushing through on those days when we’re feeling low or uninspired?

It’s taken me a long time to realize that my work is medicine. I don’t feel good before I do it. I feel good after I do it. I always tell my coaching clients, “You do not empower the gift. The gift empowers you.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven up to a speaking engagement, thinking ‘oh my God, how can I say something inspiring right now?’ And then I start speaking the truth, I start falling in love with the participants, and I’m carried on a stream. I leave feeling high and strong and totally convinced of my mission. Same thing with writing. I don’t always feel inspired to write that day. But I know that if I write, I’ll be stronger. I’ll stir the magnetic forces. So over the years, I’ve learned from contrast. On the days I avoided my calling, I had a rotten day. On the days when I did anything towards it, I felt great. In my first book This Time I Dance!, I talk about giving something 300 seconds of devotion…as in commit to showing up for at least 5 minutes and then let the activity take you in.  The work will make you feel like working.

I’ve noticed that many on the verge of great things will somehow invite self-sabotage into their personal or professional lives, perhaps as a way of staying small or safe. I’ve done some of this myself. Why do you think this happens, and have you had personal experience with this?

Sometimes I think we call things sabotage, when perhaps we’ve been doing the absolute right thing all along. I don’t believe we can ever sabotage our good, for real. I think we can beat ourselves up an awful lot. There are times when I “blew” an opportunity or it didn’t come through. But I now believe that everything is in right timing. There is nothing but grace. I may not have been ready for that opportunity or it may not have been the opportunity I thought it was. I also believe the Universe is an Unlimited, magnificent force of endless good. It doesn’t know lack. So I can “blow” an opportunity, and there will be a thousand more. More importantly, there will be the astonishingly perfect one for me.

In the book, you quote frequently from your personal journals. I’ve also been an avid journaler since I was a teen, and it’s been a fundamental tool for my development, my soul, my healing path.  What’s interesting is that many of the things I have since learned are journaling techniques were just innate tools inside of me. Did you have a similar experience? What role has journaling played in your life? And how can a non-journaler become a journaler?

I journal to explain life to myself. Also, as you know in Inspired & Unstoppable, I teach the journaling technique of Inspired Self Dialogues, as a way of helping someone tap their most brilliant direction, guidance and the counsel of their own inner success coach. It’s a technique I’ve used for years and it’s saved my life. It pulls me out of the darkness and exhaustion of my everyday limited mind. It reminds me of my mission, my power, and all the wonder that has already taken place in my life. Writing helps me tap back into feeling and knowing. It’s different than just thinking about something. It’s knowing something on paper. My journal is the best therapist on the planet.

As far as non-journalers becoming journalers…I’d say two things. One, drop the fears of journaling. Don’t think about it as writing. Talk on paper. The other thing I’d say is that if journaling isn’t your thing, don’t make it your thing. You have your own inspired way to find your voice. You have your own divine way of listening and receiving. Maybe it’s meditation or mountain biking or yodeling in the shower. It doesn’t matter. Just pay attention to how you connect with yourself, how you receive your best ideas and shifts. That’s what you’re looking for.

What advice do you have for someone who is overwhelmed with choices and possibilities of directions, desires, opportunities. How can we release the fear of making a wrong choice and just choose?

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Photo courtesy of Tama Kieves

I deal with this question in every one of my retreats and workshops. I have a thousand things to say. But I’ll just spit out some quickie thoughts for now. I would always say, stop trying to define your path, and start discovering it instead. Follow the energy of what speaks to you in this minute. Please don’t think you need to define it, brand it, franchise it or dismiss it because it “doesn’t make money” or so you think. There is already a brilliant path within you. Just follow what you want to do right now. Your head has a thousand ideas. Your soul or heart does not. If you follow what you really want to do right now, it will lead you to a next step and then another and then another. Your calling will emerge and evolve. It’s not something you define immediately. You have to play, explore, and then allow yourself to be hooked. You will be guided every step of the way, if you stop trying to analyze it and fit it into a box and a guarantee right away. Also, please give yourself permission to change your mind at every turn. If you do not have permission to change your mind, then you are not following guidance, you’re following will power and that’s a different path.

What are some of the greatest changes you’ve experienced in your own inner life between writing “This Time I Dance” and “Inspired and Unstoppable”?

I think the biggest thing that happened is I found my own inner authority. I used to have a really strong aversion to being called an expert in my field. I didn’t want anyone to feel as though they needed an expert, because I believe they have their own inner genius. But really, I also think I felt uncomfortable owning my authority and talent. Something has really shifted that way for me. I think in writing Inspired & Unstoppable, I took in how strong and brave I really am, and how much I have accomplished through inspired and unconventional means. I’ve also now worked with thousands of people and seen the same results every single time and something has finally gotten through to me. So…I finally feel like I truly am a leader and visionary. I finally feel as though I’ve got this fire and knowing within and that I’m not just “making it up” or getting lucky. I’ve got a track of record of success, and more importantly, I’ve got a track of record of dealing with my own uncertainty and fears and a faith that has grown through years of staying true to my heart and instincts.

If you could pare down your mission, your message, into one juicy statement, what would it be?

I can’t! So I’ll just blurt out a few things. I want you to know that your dreams aren’t frivolous. They are instructions. They are imperatives. They are what you came here to do in this lifetime.  You have more strength than you know and you will only know your true expression by following what calls you.

I am also here to legitimize creativity and spirituality. I am here to help build a new mainstream where everyone is doing the work they’re meant to do—and following their inspiration instead of their fear.

Thank you, so much Tama, for your time, and inspiring me to be Inspired and Unstoppable! What a gift!

Lisa, thank you so very much for supporting “Inspired & Unstoppable” and my work in the world. I am so grateful for the strong, intelligent, creative souls this work reaches. I am grateful for YOUR work in the world. I know how much courage it takes. And I want you to know I am rooting for you all the way.

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Wow, do I feel blessed and lucky. This is one of those blogs I’ll need to read over and over. So much deliciousness!

If you love what you’ve read, you can get continuous on fire support with Tama and her tribe at TamaKieves.com where you can download a FREE “Unleash Your Inspired Power” tool kit, to help them find their true direction and let go of fears right now. It also includes a subscription to her monthly e-newsletter. And also join us on Facebook and Twitter daily.