spirituality

This spiritual path you are traveling is exactly the one you are meant to travel. All of it is part of the journey. All of it is sacred. Yes, all of it.

Often we feel we are on the “right” spiritual path until things go “wrong.” Until we get bamboozled or blindsided or sidetracked or take a detour to become an addict or develop a compulsion for shopping or shoplifting or get fired or get divorced or get drunk or forget who we are or take up sleeping pills or sleeping around or sleeping all day and then we’ve blown it- we’re “off” the spiritual path.

Way back in my church days, we called that “backsliding.” It was all very black and white- you were either right with God or going to Hell. You were either saved or damned. you were either washed in the Blood or a back-slidden sinner.

So of course, we were set up to be in constant struggle, anytime our humanity showed up and we found ourselves less than “Godly.” And so continued the split, the rejection of selves, the self-hatred and self-condemnation.

I don’t believe that to be true anymore.

The addictions, the shoplifting, the eating disorders, the failed marriages, the broken hearts, the affairs, the distractions, the detours, the pain we face in our very complicated, very human lives- it’s all part of the spiritual path. It’s all an essential part of the journey.

Of course, these aren’t the highest, brightest manifestations of our lives. I’m not saying go out, get wasted, rob a convenience store and sleep with your sister’s husband just to write it off as part of your spiritual journey. That would be way too easy, and way too careless. Plus, our actions catch up with us: karma can be a bitch.

But I don’t think there are any “detours” on the spiritual path, and I don’t think we can ever leave it. The only danger to the spiritual path is unawareness.

But you know what? Funny thing is, even unawareness is part of the spiritual path! Suicide? Part of the spiritual path. Cursing God? Despair? Yep. Part of the path. All of it.

All of it, meaning everything.

Your spiritual journey is all your own. It’s meant to be exciting and adventurous. Think of Dorothy on the way to the land of Oz.

She had to leave home to find home, just like we do.

She thought she needed something outside of herself to get to where she wanted to be. Just like we do.

She ends up going through all kinds of crazy shit to find her “guru” – the wizard. Just like we do.

Only to find out she had what she needed all along, those ruby slippers, coveted by witches everywhere, to get back to where she wanted to be, just like we do.

As you continue on your spiritual path, I implore you to be as gentle and as compassionate toward yourself as you can possibly be. Keep in mind that it’s pretty normal and human and again, part of the spiritual journey, to at times be detached from your own inner voice, to not “feel” spiritual, to be completely disconnected from your soul’s language.

Even this disconnect is sacred!

We disconnect in order to feel separation. Without separation, we would not recognize connection. We must experience darkness in order to define the light. Without winter, how would we define spring? Without hot, how would we define cold? It’s all part of the great and perfect totality.

If you are looking for a spiritual path, look to the ground. You’re already on it.

If you’re looking for a guru, look in the mirror. You are what you’ve been looking for.

If you’re looking for your sacred text, look within. You already are holy truth.

You’re looking for your way back home? Guess what, Dorothy? You’re already wearing the ruby slippers.

*****

(c)2012 – Excerpted from my book, “Truth or Dare Living: Wild Adventures for your Sacred, Sexy Soul” available on Amazon.com.

So many people I work and play with come with a common need: to reconnect with part of themselves that they have lost.

I know this feeling. I’m quite familiar with it, in fact.  But I also know sometimes that being who we ‘used to be’ isn’t a fair or realistic option.

When I watch  one of my favorite shows, A & E’s, Intervention, and the family’s all joined together to tearfully read their pleas for rehab to their addicted loved one, something they often say jostles me. Many times, they’ll say something along the lines of… “I just want the old you back…”

But is it the “old” version of them that really needs returning?

I’m not saying I can’t or don’t relate to the despair of loving someone with an addiction, I get it, on a very intimate level, in fact.

I’m also not saying that I can’t understand the human inclination we sometimes have to wish we could ‘rewind life’ and go back to a simpler time, a more innocent time. I get that, too.

But I also think this: The ‘old’ version of the addict is the one that became addicted.  The one that was suffering, and numbing out in various ways, hiding secret pain, secret shame, and heading in the direction of the very addiction that brought them to the NOW. The exact and perfect now, the only place where NEW can begin.

Why not start right there?

So that’s what I’m reminded of when people I work and play with talk about wanting to be who they used to be…

“I used to be so free. I used to be so thin. I used to be so confident. I used to be so sexy. I used to be so strong. I used to be so happy…”  I get that, too.

But what I also know is this:  There is an even better version of you than the past version of you. After all, the past version of you became ‘outdated’ for a reason.

The NEW version of you will be a beautiful and organic combination of who you are NOW, and who you have been.

Take ALL of it… the good, the bad, the strength, the pain, the mistakes, the glory, the extra weight, the laugh lines, the attitude, the insecurities, the lessons, the mysteries, the tenderness and grace that you have earned along the way.

All of it is necessary for the perfect recipe, the magic formula, the miraculous terrain, the Divine Totality of the You that you are becoming.

Instead of striving for who you used to be, (she’s gone, after all…)  lean into the completely NEW, more exalted, more sovereign, more complete, more integrated, more healed and more experienced version of yourself.

And in your new glory, you can be thankful for who you used to be, who you are now, and who you are becoming.

Always, you are becoming.

*****

(c)2012 – Excerpted from my book, “Truth or Dare Living: Wild Adventures for your Sacred, Sexy Soul” available on Amazon.com.

Perhaps there are some people that prefer a crappy mood over a joyful one. I am not one of them.

I woke up this morning in a god-awful crappy mood. I was physically sore and achey. Low back pain, hip and sciatica called out “Morning!” as I reluctantly crawled out of bed. My allergies were wreaking havoc. My hormones may or may not be in the P phase of PMS, no comment. A few other irritating details that I won’t go into, but you get the idea. I went into my morning rituals, coffee, stretches, reading, journaling, eagerly, desperately working to escape my bitch-on-wheels status.

Wrote for a moment about my lousy mood, then began writing a prayer, to whoever might be listening…

“Lift this lousy mood. I want to experience joy, peace. I want to feel love. Not this…”

Like many spiritual people I know, I prefer those positive, high-vibrating emotions like peace, love and happiness.

I also think there’s still some residual gunk left from my teenage church days that believes that to be in a good mood brings me closer to the Divine, and being in a crappy mood separates me from the divine, and as an unfortunate by-product, my penalty is missing out on the blessings from such. Like stepping out of the goodie line.

Be a good girl.

Wipe that look off your face.

Cheer up.

In Law of Attraction teachings, we are taught that positive feelings attract positive things. Negative feelings attract negative things. And god knows, I don’t want to attract negative things.

So of course I get wiggly and uncomfortable when a bad mood arises. I don’t want to separate myself from the divine. I don’t want to miss out on blessings, or even worse, attract shitty circumstances into my life. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

This morning as I scrambled to find my way out of my crappy mood, (Think good thoughts! Write good thoughts! Light and love, light and love…) a voice of love and clarity came through…

Choose real over perfect. I wrote. Be with what is real.

I began to remember that the divine does not desert me when I am in a crappy mood. I desert myself.

We are not designed for or planted on this planet to be joyful and light all the time. It’s just not possible.

I signed up for the real when I came into this physical plane. As an embodied spirit, yes, I have access to all things divine… but when I’m trying to ditch my human experience and trade it in for love and light, I am abandoning my very purpose here… to feel it all.

And when I realign myself with the truth that my spirit knows….

that there is no way I can separate myself from the divine, but there is a way I can separate myself from this rich and complex human experience…

that numbing myself with platitudes of love and light is a form of self-abandonment…

that I am holy, even when I’m in a shitty mood…

funny thing happens to that shitty mood… it begins to shift.

How can you be with yourself and what is real for you today?

What if for one day you traded in your numbing, escape-hatch platitudes of love and light for the real and full experience of what is here, what is now, what is your current experience, in all of its messy, gooey, sticky and moody glory?

What might shift?

Our opportunity to feel it all is also our obligation to Life.

There will be plenty of time for existing in your glorious full love and light status when you are ethereal cosmic dust floating around the ethers, eternity perhaps.

But right now, in this moment, here you are. Here we are. We get to feel it all. So let’s.

We can be holy and hole-y.

We can be divine and dirty.

We can be light and shadow.

We can be whole and wounded.

We can be in a shitty mood, and still be blessed.

I am “divinity in a shitty mood”.

Well, I mean… I was in a shitty mood, past tense. Before I gave myself complete and utter permission to be in one.

Funny how that works.

“Super happy, just because.” ... I posted on Facebook yesterday. But then I got to thinking, just because? Like, no explanation? No cause?

Actually, there is a because. The because is because I work on happiness. It’s not a fluke, not just some random coincidence that I should be feeling so happy in my life. It’s no accident that I am currently harvesting an abundance of happiness. A lot of effort has gone into my present experience of happiness. I’ve been cultivating this happiness for years. I just didn’t realize it, til now! Just like a farmer cannot harvest a crop she has not nurtured and nudged, toiled and troubled after, harvesting happiness requires time and devotion in the field.

Here are some of the things that make a huge difference for me…

1. I keep things in perspective– especially the crappy things. “Nothing very, very good or very, very bad lasts very, very long…” the saying goes. I have found this to be true. Such is the nature of life. When things suck, I trust they’ll eventually pass. And they do. When things are wonderful and blissful, I know that they can change in an instant, and likely will, so I cherish and savor those times as much as I humanly can.
2. I’m getting good at nurturing myself sweetly. When I am blue or sad, or feeling funky or cranky, I call on my Inner Mama, that loving, soothing, caring grown-up part of me to tend to the funky, cranky, blue or sad part of me– Little Girl Me, usually when she’s acting out, and dote on her as best as I can. “There, there now, sweetie. What’s wrong?” I even visualize scooping Little Girl Me onto Inner Mama’s lap to kiss her head and nestle her in sweet hugs, gently rocking her.  Sometimes chocolate helps her feel better. Sometimes a nap. Sometimes just being acknowledged is enough. But I’m learning to pay attention, and to tend to her needs.
3. I’m learning to when to take control and when to surrender. Most suffering is simply the product of wanting things to be different. Sometimes I can make them different, to alleviate my suffering, and sometimes I need to surrender to the way things are, because my suffering is exhausting, and it hurts. I think my personal brand of spirituality, in fact, is learning the dance between effort and surrender, between bee and flower, between floating on my back and swimming.
4. I remember: I am the ocean, not the boat. This simple phrase keeps me from getting knocked around, battered by every wave and wind, feeling slave to my feelings. When I am feeling engulfed by a feeling, I remember the feeling is IN ME, not the other way around. I create spaciousness around it. I visualize the feeling inside of me, then I visualize space forming around the feeling in a circle. I widen the space with my breath, separating me from the feeling. When I remember that I am the ocean, I
   am re-empowered, and able to shift out of gloom or doom feelings.
5. I connect with the divine and cultivate a rich spiritual life. For me, journaling, reading, long walks, dancing and meditative doodling are paths to the divine. Sunshine, sitting on a bench in the breeze, a good cup of fresh coffee, orgasms and orange slices bursting in my mouth have also been known to connect me to Spirit. For you it may be a bike ride, yoga, meditation, playing with your cat or your baby, or watching clouds. Whatever those paths are, find them. In fact, when I am feeling disconnected, cranky or funky, there’s a very good chance I’ve disconnected from my source, I’ve disengaged and am not “home” with my spirit. I know that those funks are simply invitations to return home, to myself, my spirit, my source… to connect.

For some lucky few, happiness may be an effortless fluke or accident, but for me, it’s a practice. By engaging with life, and putting in the time on my “farm,” I am able to harvest a deeply rooted crop of joy, that produces a whole lot happiness “just because.”

As I reconsider my Facebook post, I realize that what I really meant was that I do not need outside circumstances or situations or people to attribute my happiness to. I cultivate it from within.

My joy is by design, for no specific reason. It just grows freely, because I planted it there.

*******************************************************

What is the secret sauce of your happiness? Comment below, I wanna know! 🙂

I’m not the most nostalgic person. I don’t have boxes of mementos.  I’m not part of any school alumni groups. I graduated high school twenty-five years ago and I’ve never been to any sort of reunion.

So I can’t really explain what got into me last week, when I decided on a whim to create a Facebook group to reconnect with the people from the church that I fervently attended from 1985 to 1990, from the ages of 14 to 19.

I’ve kept in touch with a few of those people, thanks to Facebook, but what’s happened in the last few days has been fascinating, captivating, and a spiritual experience for me, in and of itself.

We started as a Facebook group of six, just those that I knew from that time. And then they began adding people. Now there are more than thirty. People began popping up, adults I’d last seen as toddlers, couples that have stayed married, new generations of family. Many of them still very involved with this ministry, after all these years.

I was nervous at first. See, I’ve changed quite a bit since those days. My beliefs have been dramatically altered. I am not a Christian. In their eyes, I’d be what they call a backslider.

Yet my faith has never been stronger, my spiritual life never richer, my connection to the divine is real and powerful. I don’t “fit in” with the church anymore, because, well, they think I’m going to hell.

So I was a little on guard as the group began forming, reminiscing, sharing stories, photos. I thought “Just let someone come at me. Judge me for burlesque. For SacredSexyU. Tell me I’m lost. I’ll shut this group down…”  Silly, I know.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, there has been none of that. There has only been love and sweetness.

And while all the pictures are being posted, while all the memories are flooding, from many of these people that I loved deeply for a time… what’s happening is that I have never been more grateful for that particular time in my life.

While I was in college, I started to resent my church. I started to judge them for the things I felt they were wrong about. I started to “awaken” in my own ways, and the doctrine of my church did not fit my spirit anymore. I was done.

And I packed so many memories away with the doctrine. I realize now that this church is part of who I am, in ways far more subtle yet important than doctrine or dogma.

This is what the church gave me:

• My first tangible connection to the Divine. The experience of rapture, spiritual bliss.
• A family. Sisters, brothers, mothers, during a time when my family was broken, and so was I.
• Opportunities to shine, to speak, to sing, to teach, to minister. A taste of things to come.
• Community, connection, laughter and love.

And so much more.

The God I believe in now is much bigger than the jealous, angry, smiting, punishing God of that church. My God, who is not even a He, is infinite, omnipresent love, pure consciousness. Energy. There’s so much that I was taught that I just don’t believe anymore. And the God I believe in is totally cool with that.

Yet, I am so deeply grateful for the experience that my spiritual roots gave me. I am who I am because of that period. And we don’t have to believe in the same things for me to love you.

I dreamed last night that I was reunited with my pastors from that time, Pastor Rick and his wife Jeannie. I remember them as strong, loving, bold and supportive leaders. They held me when I cried. They prayed with me when I was broken.

In my dream, I was crying with joy, so happy to see them. I thanked them for loving me. I told them they had saved me, in ways I could not explain. We were hugging, but I could tell they didn’t remember who I was. It didn’t matter.

As you think about your spiritual roots, perhaps your original church home, that you may have drifted from, deserted or outgrown, are there parts of that path that you can embrace, feel grateful for and even love?

Many of us have religious wounds and have even been damaged by church. Our path is to sort the pain from the truth, to not throw out the baby with the bath water, to sift through the rubble and find the jewels, to release what does not soothe our souls, and to boldly gather our treasures. They’re in there.

I have found mine. Have you?

“Gamble everything for love, if you’re a true human being.

If not, leave this gathering.

Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.  

You set out to find God, but then you keep stopping for long periods at mean-spirited roadhouses.”

– From “The Essential Rumi” (translated by Coleman Barks)

When our hearts are open, we gamble everything for love, we hungrily seek divinity, we bounce (or sashay, or saunter, or strut…) along the spiritual path with zeal, or with peace, with awareness. It feels amazing.

And then we stop.

Ah… look, here’s an intriguing roadhouse.

We slip in…

We all have our favorite mean-spirited roadhouses.

Maybe yours is regret.

Shame.

Self-loathing.

Returning to hurts of the past.

Or an emotionally bankrupt relationship.

Or maybe it’s a physical activity that works well for numbing. For removing you from the intensity of the divine, of your own light. Or your own feelings.

Bingeing on Netflix streaming for hours and hours at a time.

Facebook scrolling. Scrolling, endless scrolling. Scroll. Click. Scroll. Click, click. Scroll, scroll. OOH! A notification!

Drinking too much. Or too often. Or both.

Shopping for things you don’t need, just to feel a rush of newness, of… something different than this.

I’ve done all of these things, stopped in all of these mean-spirited roadhouses, as well as others I won’t name. Luckily, today, in this moment, I am back on the path, gambling everything for love.

But I also trust the detour.

There will be times on this spiritual path, when we will find ourselves at mean-spirited roadhouses. And more importantly, we must. The path of divinity is intense, and asks much from us. That we be completely aware, that we remain open, that we shine bright.

It can get exhausting being our magnificence.

Oh look… there’s my favorite mean-spirited roadhouse… I’m gonna stop in for a spell… I think they’re running specials…

And so, the cycle continues. Until it ends. Until that glorious day we can walk right past those familiar mean-spirited roadhouses, and keep on walking, gambling everything for love.

Gambling everything for love is not for wimps. It’s not easy. Nor is it free of dangers and risks. But, as Rumi is saying, more or less: go big or go home.

It doesn’t matter if you use the word God, spirit, love, divinity, magnificence, grace, glory. I don’t care what the heck you choose to call it. We’re simply talking about your innate connection to that which is bigger and greater than the limits of your humanness. Call it what you will. We’re either seeking it. Connecting to it. Living it. Or detoured.

Right now, think about your current place on your path. At this moment of your life, are you gambling everything for love or half-heartedly reaching for majesty? Are you seeking God or hanging out in a mean-spirited roadhouse?

If you’re in a mean-spirited roadhouse, when you’re ready to come back out, to pick up on your path, come on. The light at first, is blinding. It’s dark in there, after all. And you might carry some of that mean-spirited roadhouse smell on your clothes for a while.

But out here, on your divine path, the air is sweet, the sun is bright and the breeze wants to say hello. Welcome back.

Gamble everything. Give it your all. Go big or go home.

As Rumi knew, half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.

I was sore. I was tired. I was having a bad hair day.

I was not feeling it. But in 90 minutes, I had to teach an “Unleash Your Inner Bombshell” burlesque intro workshop to a room full of women.

Helping women tap into their inner sexy, to move in new ways, to flirt with themselves, to have fun with their bodies, to connect to that part of them that may be dormant is one thing I was born to do.

But that didn’t matter at that moment. I was not in the mood. I began to get ready, going through the motions, fixing my hair, putting on my red lipstick. Ugh… I was thinking.  Bleh… I was feeling.

Just get yourself there, Lisa. I told myself. Once you are there, you know what will happen.

Yes, I knew. And yes it did. Once I got in the space, surrounded by women, some nervous, some excited, all eager to learn and willing to risk with me, something kicked in. Within a couple of minutes, I was feeling great. I began to feel sexy.  We danced. We laughed. We played. We had a wonderful time together.

After class, I told my workshop assistant, Scarlett Rose, “I have no idea where the hell that came from. I didn’t think I had it in me today.”

But the more I think about it, the more I know this to be true:

When we are doing what we are meant to do, when we are tapped into our divine assignment, when we are giving from the gifts that we have been given… it’s not about us.

It’s not about what we have in us. It’s about what we have flowing through us.

When we are plugged into Source, and show up for the gig, Source takes over and fills us with everything we need… energy, spirit, joy, passion… we get in the zone and we forget that we were sore and tired and having a bad hair day.

All that matters at that moment IS that moment- we are fulfilling our holy contract. The Divine takes care of the “how”.

What calling, practice or offering have you been holding back from the world, because you don’t know if you have it in you?

Guess what? You have everything you need to bring your gifts to the world. You will be given the tools, the details will fall into place, the energy will flow through you because you are assigned by the Divine to deliver your work into the world as no one else can.

Woody Allen said that about 90 percent of your success is just showing up. I think there’s truth to that.

What are you being called to express or deliver? How are you being invited to show up?

Remember, it’s not about you. It’s about you doing what you were meant to do, and being who you were meant to be. You cannot fail. Just move. And once you are moving, your Divine Super Powers will kick in and juice you up for the assignment. Even on a bad hair day. Trust me on this.

Some days are louder than others. Some days are a cacophony of distractions, voices, chatter, noise. The feeling of being pulled in too many directions is one of my least favorite feelings.

Yet, if everything is an invitation, which I believe it is, then this feeling… even this low-grade anxiety, this uneasiness and spread-too-thin feeling that comes over me at times is an invitation.

The cool part is, I get to decide what the invitation is for. I simply have to check in, go within, to discover what it is. Might be an invitation…

– to get quiet
– to take a break
– to take a walk
– to take a nap
– to get centered
– to choose wisely
– to lead bravely
– to pray
– to play
– to take myself less seriously
– to take something off my plate
– to have that conversation I’ve been avoiding
– to dance
– to sing
– to take a hot shower
– to drop into my body
– to remember that I even have a body
– to forgive
– to notice
– to release
– to write
– to breathe

Funny, it seems all moments, like this one, and otherwise, are invitations to breathe. Breathing is always the invitation. And in this moment, I accept.

What if, right now, my only invitation is to breathe? I breathe into the simplicity of this invitation. And chuckle at the irony. Do I have any other choice? Can I go deeper into my breath, to feel it, really feel it, coursing through my body? Can I exhale more fully? Can I inhale so deep it reaches my toes?

If everything is an invitation, what are you being invited into, in this moment?

This moment is an invitation. Open it, read it. Respond.

This spiritual path you are traveling is exactly the one you are meant to travel. All of it is part of the journey. All of it is sacred. Yes, all of it.

Often we feel we are on the “right” spiritual path until things go “wrong,” and we get bamboozled or sidetracked or take a detour to become an addict or develop a compulsion for shopping or shoplifting or get fired or get divorced or get drunk or forget who we are or take up sleeping pills or sleeping around or sleeping all day and then we’ve blown it- we’re “off” the spiritual path.

Way back in my church days, we called that “backsliding.” It was all very black and white- you were either right with God or going to Hell. You were either saved or damned. you were either washed in the Blood or a back-slidden sinner. So of course, we were set up to be in constant struggle, anytime our humanity showed up and we found ourselves less than “Godly.” And so began the split, the rejection of selves, the self-hatred and self-condemnation.

I don’t believe that to be true anymore.

The addictions, the shoplifting, the eating disorders, the failed marriages, the broken hearts, the affairs, the distractions, the detours, the pain we face in our very complicated, very human lives- it’s all part of the spiritual path. It’s all an essential part of the journey.

Of course, these aren’t the highest, brightest manifestations of our lives. I’m not saying go out, get wasted, rob a convenience store and sleep with your sister’s husband just to write it off as part of your spiritual journey. That would be way too easy, and way too careless. Plus, our actions catch up with us: karma can be a bitch.

But I don’t think there are any “detours” on the spiritual path, and I don’t think we can ever leave it. The only danger to the spiritual path is unawareness.

But you know what? Funny thing is, even unawareness is part of the spiritual path! Atheism? Part of the spiritual path. Suicide? Part of the spiritual path. Cursing God? Despair? Yep. Part of the path. All of it.

All of it, meaning everything.

Your spiritual journey is all your own. It’s meant to be exciting and adventurous. Think of Dorothy on the way to the land of Oz.

She had to leave home to find home, just like we do.

She thought she needed something outside of herself to get to where she wanted to be. Just like we do.

She ends up going through all kinds of crazy shit to find her “guru” – the wizard. Just like we do.

Only to find out she had what she needed all along, those ruby slippers, coveted by witches everywhere, to get back to where she wanted to be, just like we do.

As you continue on your spiritual path, I implore you to be as gentle and as compassionate toward yourself as you can possibly be. Keep in mind that it’s pretty normal and human and again, part of the spiritual journey, to at times be detached from your own inner voice, to not “feel” spiritual, to be completely disconnected from your soul’s language.

Even this disconnect is sacred!

We disconnect in order to feel separation. Without separation, we would not recognize connection. We must experience darkness in order to define the light. Without winter, how would we define spring? Without hot, how would we define cold? It’s all part of the great and perfect totality.

If you are looking for a spiritual path, look to the ground. You’re already on it.

If you’re looking for a guru, look in the mirror. You are what you’ve been looking for.

If you’re looking for your sacred text, look within. You already are holy truth.

You’re looking for your way back home? Guess what? You’re already wearing the ruby slippers.