truth

Are you a hypocrite? Or just a human?

contradictionI think I just might be the most anti-social extrovert there ever was.

As much as I love to be around people, and am totally energized in groups, at events and parties and whatnot, I never feel “open” to talking to strangers in coffee shops, on airplanes, in the sauna at the gym. I’d rather just be left alone. Sometimes, and this is embarrassing to admit, I even wear my ear buds, even if I’m not listening to anything, just to send a clear leave-me-alone-please message to any friendly stranger that might dare talk to me.

And if I should make conversation with a stranger in line at the grocery store, or even the cashier, I sometimes actually shake with adrenalin or nervousness and while I am energized by it, I leave slightly trembling, maybe even sweat dripping down my armpits!

I see strangers making friends in public places and a pang of envy washes through me, for their easy, carefree connection and comfort with chatting it up with total strangers. Yet, some of my very best friends were strangers I was brave enough to talk to. And I create events for a living.

This is one of my many contradictions. I’m full of them.

And so are you.

And that’s what makes us complex, interesting and layered. That’s what creates our divine totality.

“Do I contradict myself?” Walt Whitman said. “Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.”

Yeah, that’s me. That’s us.

Here’s what I notice: For some reason we’ve adopted this belief that we should be one or another of everything, that there is no room for being both or all things, yet we are designed to hold within us the full capacity of everything that is available.

Why must we be so “either/or” about every damned thing? We equate being complex and containing contradictions with being a hypocrite, because we have black and whited our world, our lives and our potential.

I’ve spent hours and hours, year after year, with clients, with friends, in relationships, in my own heart, on that tenuous tightrope of “either/or” thinking…

“Am I selfish or giving… logical or emotional… good or bad… right or wrong… gay or straight… honest or dishonest… bold or shy… scared or fearless… spiritual or sinful… left brain or right brain… doubtful or trusting… a little bit country or a little bit rock and roll… “slutty” or prudish… healed or wounded… tough or vulnerable… satisfied or yearning?”

I’m not quite sure how or when we as people started thinking we could only be one half of two opposites. When did we cut ourselves in half and why do we feel the need to limit the fullness of our existence?

It’s really kind of weird when you think about it. But that’s what we learned, that’s what we thought. That’s what we often believe.

Do you remember Highlights for Children magazine? There was a regular cartoon in there called Goofus and Gallant, about two brothers– one who did everything right, all the time, while the other brother (guess which one…) was consistently messy, selfish, rude, he didn’t put his toys away. He didn’t say thank you. He never said “please.”He threw rocks at birds.

This little cartoon, in spite of its good intentions to teach kids manners, is just one way I was imprinted, the imprint growing roots in my belief system that there is no room for extremes or contradictions within one person. As a small child just learning how to be what the world wanted me to be, I knew it was “wrong” to feel a little bit Goofus and a lit bit Gallant.

Can you trace back to a message or experience that taught you that you could only be one or the other of something?

And now… Can you entertain the exciting notion that you are everything?

I highly recommend it. For when you do, when you can, there is no more war. The battle is over. The forces retreat.

When you allow yourself to be the wide, vast and magical container for everything that you truly are, the game changes. The world, and your place in it, shifts.

You are made of curves and edges. Countless textures. A thousand flavors. Embrace them all.

You are designed to be spacious enough for every feeling, every possibility.

Your divine totality is vast and limitless and there is absolutely no reason that you cannot be a contradiction, or even a thousand contradictions, whenever you want to be.

Do tell! What is one of your contradictions that you are ready and willing to embrace?

Share in the comments below.

 

 

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I’m working on other things right now so I thought many of you may like to read or re-read this blog, originally published in May, 2014.

Self-Love and Insecurities: This is Where I Am.

insecurities_by_littlemissrockstar-d37i3mc

Show me the most beautiful, powerful, successful, actualized, amazing woman in the world, and I’ll show you a woman who sometimes struggles with insecurities.

We all face the darker side of our own feelings about ourselves from time to time, no matter who we are or how hard we have worked on ourselves, how spiritual or “enlightened” we are, how much we have healed, how far we have come… it happens.

And though some of us are better at hiding it from the world than others, none of us are exempt.

Sometimes I struggle to love myself completely.

There. I said it.

Sometimes my inner mean girls, inner gremlins, inner demons, whatever you want to call the voices, those voices, whisper and chant the meanest things to me.

Does my sharing this with you make you think less of me as a woman, a coach, a teacher?

Did you think I had it all together, and that “all together” included never thinking one negative, mean thought about myself, never critiquing myself, never “ugh-ing” myself in the mirror, never ever calling myself a name?

I’m sorry to disappoint you, if that is the case.

Because I stand for radical self-love doesn’t mean I’ve perfected it. Because I believe in self-acceptance doesn’t mean this comes completely effortlessly for me. It’s my journey. I’m still in it.

If you’ve attended any of my workshops over the years, you know that one of the first things I share, after I point to the bathrooms and ask you to turn off your cell phone is that I am not immune or completely healed of the negative self-talk and self-loathing judgment that plagues women of our western society.

My journey has been arduous and painstakingly bumpy, and very real, and never-ending and yes, I’m still in it. I’m still journeying. But, I say.

But. But on this journey, as I tired of the pain, I have learned many amazing and powerful tools and practices for quieting the critical voices, for cultivating self-love, for remembering who I am, for practicing self-kindess and compassion, for healing the relationship between my body and my mind, and when I practice them, my relationship to myself shifts, it heals.

They work if I work them.

And so of course, I am obligated to share them. We learn, we teach. Some of us are wired this way. Whether we like it or not.

Why am I telling you this?

Perhaps to come clean.

Perhaps because recently, when I told her that I was having a bad day and struggling with self-esteem issues, still another friend looked at me incredulously, jaw dropped, surprised… maybe even disappointed… “You?”  Yes, me.

But my commitment to expand my capacity for self-love and self-acceptance has been recharged. My relationships depend on it. My business depends on it. My life depends on it.

These days, on a bad day, I can remember to turn to myself with compassion, and sometimes I even remember to practice the tools that I teach.

I am not immune to insecurities. But I am not going to lay down and surrender to them, either.

I am devoted to mastering profound self-love and acceptance, and if it takes me the rest of my life to master, so be it.

Perhaps that’s the whole point of living.

I’m in. I’m registered. I’m signed up. I’m enrolled.

I’m no longer enrolled in “Self-Love 101”, but I haven’t earned my Doctorate in Loving Oneself Completely yet, either.

I am a work in progress. I hope you’re okay with that.

 

 

The Truth About Truth

truth

It wasn’t so long ago that I felt, in most cases, it was safer to lie than to tell the truth.

Lies kept me safe. Secrets were my suit of armor. It was how I knew to live. Secrets and lies were my survival strategy, learned early and practiced to perfection.

This so-called survival strategy had also created a life of pain and separation. True intimacy was impossible, with myself or others.

My life was full of people, but I was alone, and in pain so deep and so familiar, it felt normal.

More than a decade ago, my therapist asked me: “What would it feel like to have a life without secrets?” I was stunned by his question, had never entertained the idea. It was almost absurd. Secrets were my second skin. My buffer between me and real intimacy. My “safe place.”

“Living a life without secrets would feel like walking around without skin.” I answered. The vulnerability, the rawness of living, speaking and choosing truth were so beyond my comprehension. Could I be that brave? That strong? Where to even begin?

Living your truth is not easy, nor is it for wimps or the faint-hearted. Living your truth requires you to do things that may shock or even hurt others.

Living your truth calls you, appoints you, assigns you to both large, radical acts of bravery and small, seemingly insignificant choices… ranging in depth and extremity from completely redesigning your life to sending your food back when it’s not cooked to your liking.

A truthful, authentic life does not happen all at once. It is more likely to be painstakingly constructed, choice by choice.

The biggest thing I had to do, in order to live my truth was the most painful thing I have ever done, and that was to leave a long, loving marriage and break up a family.

Who does that? I kept hearing, in my head, moving through the excruciating process.

Who does that? A woman finally determined to live her truth. A woman who is neither good or bad, or is maybe both, but is mostly a woman determined to experience her own wholeness.

What is truth calling you to do? Waiting for courage may have you waiting a lifetime. Wait not on courage. Sometimes it is only a breeze we need to step in the direction of courage, of our life of truth. Sometimes it takes a storm, sometimes an all-out tsunami. Courage is the reward we get, for taking these stands on our own behalf, along with power, with self-trust, self-esteem. Goddess energy.

I’ve taken many risks since that therapy session to speak, choose and live my truth. I am more committed to a life of truth than I ever thought possible. It’s not always easy. It’s sometimes painful and scary. But truth never fails. Truth always rewards. Always builds. Always heals.

Is your truth calling you to choose, speak or act on its behalf? The time is now. Step into your truth and you open up a new world within you, the universe responds, life becomes brighter, clearer, more real, more beautiful.

When you claim your reality and live your truth, everything changes, for the better.

And that is the truth about truth.

 

 

—————

 

Originally posted July 2013. Resharing with love, while I take some time to refuel from output-mode. 

The terrible truth about speaking your truth

truth-1

“Speak your truth…” The memes declare. “Be authentic!” We are preached at. “Keep it real!” and so the messages go.

We know, deep down, that truth-telling is a brave route on our path of growth. That doesn’t make it easy.

There are some truths about speaking the truth that not many people speak truthfully about.

Telling the truth doesn’t come without consequences.

It’s not always the best feeling in the world.

In fact, sometimes, it downright sucks.

Speaking our truth is often a path more prickly than pruned, more dangerous than safe, more risky than we may even realize.

In the last week, I have had my own first-hand experiences with this, and have seen it going on in the lives of others, so much so that I’ve wondered what planetary forces might be affecting us as we transition into spring this week.

Here are some things to keep in mind when approaching your time to boldly speak a truth, whether its to create new boundaries, establish respect, ask for more, or have that tough conversation you’ve been putting off for too long…

  • First, consider your desired outcome. Do you want to end a relationship? Are you establishing new criteria for what you will accept? Are wanting to burn it all down in an outrageous and passionate fury-of-Kali move? Establishing your desire will help determine your strategy.
  • Most likely, you are not going to feel “ready” or “comfortable” doing it. Waiting to feel ready or comfortable might have you waiting forever. To move forward in your unready discomfort is a bold and brazen act of self-respect.
  • Decide if you are willing to risk burning bridges or experience some fall-out. Decide if that’s something you want, or can live with, and proceed accordingly. If burning bridges is not your desired end-goal, choose your approach, and your words, carefully.
  • You may have to experience some pain. Or even cause it. The aftershocks from this pain might tremble long after the conversation is over.
  • Return to your original desired outcome, again and again. This desire is your touchstone when you’re in the thick of it. Remind yourself, repeatedly of what it is you really want to come of the truth-telling. Let your desired outcome guide your words and actions.
  • Truth is relative. Take full responsibility for yours, and know that others also have a right to theirs.
  • You may lose friends, supporters, clients, even money. Are you willing to be with the empty space that loss will create in your life?

Another thing to remember… Things come out a lot better if you plan how and what you want to say, rather than wait for the intensity of a breaking point, when emotions are heated or out of control.

Unfortunately, many of us wait to speak our truths until we are so fed up, angry, buttons pushed, provoked, triggered, irritated or activated that our emotions take the wheel, and we might say things more damaging, cruel or hostile than what we intended.

When we speak the truth using the path of the heart, letting love guide us, pain is minimized, wreckage and debris is easier to clean up.

In some cases, it may make sense to request an “appointment” to talk some things out, in order to have a ready listening receiver, as opposed to the blindside and catching someone completely off guard. It can change the outcome dramatically.

Eventually, after the talk, after the fallout, after the burning and the hurt, there is a feeling that will rise up from within you that feels like courage, a stronger sense of self-respect, a greater surety about what you want and don’t want, and what you will tolerate in you your life.

Eventually, you will feel more whole, more alive, more the you that you want to be in the world.

Plan, think, pray, contemplate, consider the consequences. And go forward, bravely, as if your life depends on it. Because, well, it does…

This then, is the good news: When you take a stand for your life, life responds dramatically, swiftly and oftentimes, more beautifully than you could have ever imagined.

Insecurities: The Struggle is Real

insecurities_by_littlemissrockstar-d37i3mc

Show me the most beautiful, powerful, successful, actualized, amazing woman in the world, and I’ll show you a woman who sometimes struggles with insecurities.

We all face the darker side of our own feelings about ourselves from time to time, no matter who we are or how hard we have worked on ourselves, how spiritual or “enlightened” we are, how much we have healed, how far we have come… it happens.

And though some of us are better at hiding it from the world than others, none of us are exempt.

Sometimes I struggle to love myself completely.

There. I said it.

Sometimes my inner mean girls, inner gremlins, inner demons, whatever you want to call the voices, those voices, whisper and chant the meanest things to me.

Does my sharing this with you make you think less of me as a woman, a coach, a teacher?

Did you think I had it all together, and that “all together” included never thinking one negative, mean thought about myself, never critiquing myself, never “ugh-ing” myself in the mirror, never ever calling myself a name?

I’m sorry to disappoint you, if that is the case.

Because I stand for radical self-love doesn’t mean I’ve perfected it. Because I believe in self-acceptance doesn’t mean this comes completely effortlessly for me.

If you’ve attended my BodyLove Revolution workshops, you know that one of the first things I share, after I point to the bathrooms and ask you to turn off your cell phone is that I am not immune or completely healed of the negative self-talk and self-loathing judgment that plagues women of our western society. My journey has been arduous and painstakingly bumpy, and very real, and never-ending and yes, I’m still in it. I’m still journeying. But, I say.

But. But on this journey, as I tired of the pain, I have learned many amazing and powerful tools and practices for quieting the critical voices, for cultivating self-love, for remembering who I am, for practicing self-kindess and compassion, for healing the relationship between my body and my mind, and when I practice them, my relationship to myself shifts, it heals.

They work if I work them.

And so of course, I am obligated to share them. We learn, we teach. Some of us are wired this way. Whether we like it or not.

Why am I telling you this?

Perhaps to come clean.

Perhaps because recently, when I told her that I was having a bad day and struggling with self-esteem issues, still another friend looked at me incredulously, jaw dropped, surprised… maybe even disappointed… “You???”  Yes, me.

But my commitment to expand my capacity for self-love and self-acceptance has been recharged. My relationships depend on it. My business depends on it. My life depends on it.

These days, on a bad day, I can remember to turn to myself with compassion, and sometimes I even remember to practice the tools that I teach.

I am not immune to insecurities. But I am not going to lay down and surrender to them, either.

I am devoted to mastering profound self-love and acceptance, and if it takes me the rest of my life to master, so be it.

Perhaps that’s the whole point of living.

I’m in. I’m registered. I’m signed up. I’m enrolled.

I’m no longer enrolled in “Self-Love 101”, but I haven’t earned my Doctorate in Loving Oneself Completely yet, either.

I am a work in progress. I hope you’re okay with that.

 

A Phenomenal Woman, Indeed

mayaangelouAbout 16 years ago, at a house party, the hosts were holding a spontaneous talent show.  I was new here. Recently transplanted from Chicago, I was searching. Searching for my place in Dallas. Searching  for my place in the world. Searching for my power.

The people at this party welcomed me with open arms. The talent show was diverse, interesting, and as people went up, risking vulnerability, but burning with a desire to express themselves, I began to feel at home.

Then Kathy, the beautiful matriarch of the group, got up and recited a poem that gripped me and gave me chills.  As she read it and traced her hips, a sparkle in her eyes, a smirk on her lips, I felt so proud to be a woman. Something shifted in me. I was ready to own my power, my beauty, my grace and my influence. It was this poem that encouraged me to “come of age”, to claim my womanhood with pride and class… it touched my soul and inspired me into more of my fullness.

You’ve probably heard it before, or read it, it’s definitely one of Maya Angelou’s most “mainstream” poems, but today, in honor of a woman whose phenomenal influence is global, and will continue to ripple, likely for the rest of our years on this planet, in honor of a woman whose phenomenal influence grounded and rooted me and gave me permission to shine, to sparkle, I share this poem with you…

Phenomenal Woman


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

– Maya Angelou (1928-2014)

To Feel or To Numb: The Always-Question

TDT_Feeling Your FeelingsIt happens to all of us. There are none of us immune, or above it. So-called “enlightenment” does not protect us from this very human, primal, lizard-brain response. As long as we are walking around in these skin-suits, we must acknowledge our totality– and that totality includes being very, very human.

When faced or filled with an experience or feeling we don’t like, there are three responses we might have—it’s ancient programming. It’s about survival: fight, flight or freeze. We certainly won’t die from a feeling a crappy feeling, but these feelings can feel dangerous, or at the least, uncomfortable. And we prefer comfort.

I think the act of numbing is so subversive, automatic and common, that oftentimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. There are a thousand ways to numb. Here are some common ones:

  • Scrolling through Facebook to cheer up when grumpy
  • Drinks after a tough day
  • Netflix in bed, to quiet the mind and fall asleep
  • Shopping online for stuff we don’t need, to feel happier, knowing something is on its way to us
  • Smoking pot to escape a crappy mood
  • Making spontaneous plans with pals, to avoid being alone with our feelings
  • Having a cigarette because we’re stressed
  • Flirting with a co-worker because we feel lonely or unattractive
  • Bingeing on ice cream because we’re bored

Even some of our healthiest tools can be used for numbing- exercise, prayer, meditation, reading self-help books. If we are trying to escape a feeling, we’re numbing, regardless of the activity.

I’ve been finding myself with uncomfortable feelings lately.  Sadness. Restlessness. Grief. Fear.  And I’m noticing that I have a choice, with every feeling. I get to decide how I respond. Sometimes I can stay with a feeling, feel it, deal with it, heal it… and sometimes, I admit it: I just want to numb.

Yikes… There’s a certain vulnerability involved in being a Life Coach and teacher and admitting to numbing at times to escape a feeling. Shouldn’t I be so evolved that I can stay perfectly present with every feeling? What will people think when they realize that I’m not perfect? Silly, I know.

I don’t think perfection is what you’re looking for. And if it is, I am not it. My promise to you is to stay current and real with what’s really going on. I am more mistrusting of the coaches and teachers who pretend they have it all together than the ones that admit to experiencing human struggles. The illusion of perfection is dangerous. We are human. Our desire to numb, our survival instinct, our animal instincts of fight, flight or freeze are about as human as being human gets.

There’s a certain vulnerability to being human, period. And yes, I am still in progress. I still am working on myself.  I am in constant communication with my Higher Self. And she says to ease up on myself, and give up my attempts at perfection and instead, embrace my totality. In fact, today, she wrote me a love letter…

**************

Breathe.

You’ve been here before.

You know this place, you know this feeling.

Just breathe.

Notice the feeling.

Name it.

Where is it residing, in your body, right now?

Can you create space around it, with your breath?

Yep, there it is: A feeling.

And now, you get to decide what you want to do with it.

The choice really is yours.

Feel it?

Numb it?

Fight it?

Avoid it?

Talk to it?

Hold it close, like a small infant…

There, there…

Or take cover from it,

like a fierce and frightening storm…

Get me out of this…

Or put it away, tucking it out of sight,

I’ll deal with you later.

You get to decide.

Decide.

Choose.

I like it when you choose.

It’s when we don’t even know we’re choosing,

when our behaviors and coping mechanisms are automatic

and mindless

that we get ourselves into trouble.

Today you might choose to numb it.

Tomorrow you might choose to feel it.

Can you love yourself, even when you’re numbing?

Even when you’re fragile?

Even when you’re not as grand

as you would like to be?

Even when your choices seem less enlightened

than you thought you were?

I love your glory, your high and noble aspirations,

your striving for Higher Ground. But remember…

I think you are beautiful and divine all the time.

Even when you’re human.

Or maybe especially so.

**************

I’m not advocating a life of mindless numbing. I’m advocating a life of being mindfully human. Choosing what feels like the best way to take care of ourselves at any given moment, even when it’s not necessarily the most enlightened response. I’m advocating a life of awareness and honesty, and of doing the best we can. After all, what more can we do?

Buzzing and Blooming, Flowers, Bees & Me

bee-flowerSomewhere, at some point recently I began entertaining the sweet notion of attraction rather than attainment, magnetism over motion.

I decided I wanted to be the flower, and not the bee. I’ve spent most of my working life being a bee. Buzzing, buzzing from flower to flower, looking for nectar, making honey. It worked, sure. But it was exhausting as hell.

I began to learn from various teachers, messages, signs and synchronicities that there may be a better way, an easier way. I decided to experiment with the practice of being a flower.

A flower stands proud in its fragrant, vibrant essence. It need not scurry, hustle, chase or pursue. It releases such a sweet aroma, by simply being what it is, that the bees take notice and are drawn to the flower’s irresistible perfume. Then the magic happens.

And yep, just like magic, my shift in thinking, my change in focus, my recommitment to simply doing what I do, as sweetly and naturally as I can has drawn enchanted, miraculous events, people and opportunities my way. Here are just two examples that blow my mind and rock my world…

  • For years, I have thought the Burlesque Experience would make great reality TV. I’ve had some conversations with producers in the last couple years, but the chemistry was off, they didn’t really get the heart and soul of the work, and even though they were interested in going further, my heart was saying “wait.” Recently, a seasoned and gifted producer found my business card and contacted me. We’re currently in conversation and planning a demo reel for her network contacts. She gets it. She loves the work, she understands the transformational power of it and how it can translate into compelling TV.

    I don’t know what will come of it, I’m optimistic, yet unattached to any outcome. I fully trust in things unfolding as they are meant to. Here’s the crazy part: I’ve never even set foot in the print shop where she picked up my card, from a community bulletin board.

  • Lately, I’ve been sharing, recommending and quoting from like crazy, this phenomenal, game-changing book I’ve been reading called “Inspired and Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding Doing Your Life’s Work” by Tama Kieves. I haven’t been this shaken and stirred by a book in years. I fantasized about having Tama as a guest on my upcoming internet radio show, SacredSexyU Radio, but had no idea how little-old-me could snag such an opportunity.Within days of that fantasy, sitting in my inbox was an email from her publicist from Penguin Publishing. She had found me through my blog where I had quoted from the book, and asked if I would be interested in interviewing Tama, both in my blog and on my radio show. Holy YES. Yes, I pinched myself. Yes, this is happening. Flower-energy does it again.

Yet, in all of my fragrant flower-energy experimentation, there is still something vital and undeniable in me.

It is also in my nature to be a bee.

There is bee energy in me. It is also my purest essence.

To buzz toward what attracts me, to hustle, to seek.

As a bee, I am aggressive and hungry, and I scan and work and create and connect. I cannot lose this part of me. I don’t want to.

So, I’ve decided to embrace both my flower self and my bee self. I’ve decided I am a hybrid creation. I am calling myself a FLOWBEE. What do you think? Catchy, huh? I thought so, too.

I can proudly and lovingly embrace and claim these varying facets of myself; they actually work well together. I want to be both.

So I’m off to do some buzzing and blooming now. Join me, won’t you?

Are you a bee, a flower or a Flowbee?

Whatever you are, when you stand in your most natural essence, being exactly who you truly are, magic happens.

The Truth About Truth

It wasn’t so long ago that I felt, in most cases, it was safer to lie than to tell the truth.

Lies kept me safe. Secrets were my suit of armor. It was how I knew to live. Secrets and lies were my survival strategy, learned early and practiced to perfection.

This so-called survival strategy had also created a life of pain and separation. True intimacy was impossible, with myself or others.

My life was full of people, but I was alone, and in pain so deep and so familiar, it felt normal.

Several years ago, my therapist asked me: “What would it feel like to have a life without secrets?” I was stunned by his question, had never entertained the idea. It was almost absurd. Secrets were my second skin. My buffer between me and real intimacy. My “safe place.”

“Living a life without secrets would feel like walking around without skin.” I answered. The vulnerability, the rawness of living, speaking and choosing truth were so beyond my comprehension. Could I be that brave? That strong? Where to even begin?

Living your truth is not easy, nor is it for wimps or the faint-hearted. Living your truth requires you to do things that may shock or even hurt others. Living your truth calls you, appoints you, assigns you to both large, radical acts of bravery and small, seemingly insignificant choices… ranging in depth and extremity from completely redesigning your life to sending your food back when it’s not cooked to your liking. A truthful, authentic life does not happen all at once. It is more likely to be painstakingly constructed, choice by choice.

The biggest thing I had to do, in order to live my truth was the most painful thing I have ever done, and that was to leave a long, loving marriage and break up a family. Who does that? I kept hearing, in my head, moving through the excrutiating process.

Who does that? A woman finally determined to live her truth. A woman who is neither good or bad, or is maybe both, but is mostly a woman determined to experience her own wholeness.

What is truth calling you to do? Waiting for courage may have you waiting a lifetime. Wait not on courage. Sometimes it is only a breeze we need to step in the direction of courage, of our life of truth. Sometimes it takes a storm, sometimes an all-out tsunami. Courage is the reward we get, for taking these stands on our own behalf, along with power, with self-trust, self-esteem. Goddess energy.

I’ve taken many risks since that therapy session to speak, choose and live my truth. I am more committed to a life of truth than I ever thought possible. It’s not always easy. It’s sometimes painful and scary. But truth never fails. Truth always rewards. Always builds. Always heals.

Is your truth calling you to choose, speak or act on its behalf? The time is now. Step into your truth and you open up a new world within you, the universe responds, life becomes brighter, clearer, more real, more beautiful. When you claim your reality and live your truth, everything changes, for the better. And that is the truth about truth.

Come Back to the Circle

Accessible to you, accessible to me, at any given time, is a circle of abundance and plenty.

The circle turns, moving with grace and ease, we give, we receive, we give, we receive. There is room for everyone in the circle. Anyone who chooses to be in the circle has a place in circle. Take your place.

Money, success, ease, gracious flow of plenty is here for us. We move in the natural and perfect rhythm in this limitless, boundless and beautiful circle of abundance.

And then, sometimes, we trip. We lose our footing. Scarcity thoughts sneak in and instead of quickly moving them out, we engage them, entertaining them…

– There’s not enough.
– I must protect what’s mine.
– How will I survive?
– I’m scared.

When we lose our footing, when we step out of the circle, it’s a colder, less friendly place. The sun doesn’t shine as bright. The money doesn’t flow as easily. We experience struggle. We experience lack. It feels lonelier outside of the circle. We are skeptical. We are stingier. We are afraid, all the time.

The solution is more simple than we even realize.

All we need to do to step back into the circle is step back into the circle.

When you fall out of that rhythm of flow and ease, all you have to do is step back in. Your spot in the limitless circle of abundance waits for you. As does mine. It’s where we belong. It’s where we were designed to be.

Let’s step back in. Just like that.

I choose to step back into the circle of abundance. I choose ease. I choose trust. I choose support. I choose flow. I choose plenty.

It’s as simple as that. Step back in.