fresh starts, growth, healing, letting go, reflection

Let me tell you about my 2016.

Photo by Dee Hill.

Photo by Dee Hill.

It happens every year, right around this time. I get to feeling super reflective, looking back at the year I am completing, culling and sifting through the details to find the juice, to find the gains, the growth, the stuff to feel proud of.

AND I start getting antsy as hell for a brand new year. A clean slate. A fresh start. I itch for it. I crave its freshness, its potential, its possibilities.

Like clockwork, here I am. I’m ready.

There’s no denying, for millions of us, 2016 has been an intense, eventful year of shifts, transitions, collective loss, collective grief, fear, and pain.

AND everything else.

While yes, we’ve been challenged, we’ve also been blessed.

I’m not suggesting we ignore our pain, or bypass our struggles, pretending they didn’t exist, but let’s widen our scope, to really take it all in. There was so much good. If we want to admit it.

Before we move into 2017, I want to present to you some some questions for reflection.

Take some time to consider, journal, contemplate, make art, chat through the questions and answers with friends, whatever! It doesn’t matter how you do it, but it does make a difference when you do it.

I’ll go first.

If you asked me what I learned this year, I’d tell you this.

I am far more powerful than I realized. I can do what I thought impossible. I am my own hero.

I learned that I can’t do it alone.

I learned that my body is my friend. I’ve learned that my body is boss. I learned that my body is an animal. She’s a mammal. And she’s far wiser than I ever gave her credit for.

If you asked me what I let go of this year, I’d tell you this.

I let go of the story that I want or need alcohol in my life. I let go of the story that life was too hard without it. I let go of the story that life was no fun without it. I let go of the belief that “I can’t.”

I let go of the need to change my body before I love her. I said bye-bye to diets, once and for all.

I let go of my excuses. Most of them, at least.

If you asked me what I gained this year, I’d tell you this.

Confidence. Power. Strength. Understanding. Pride. Self-trust. Intimacy. Inspiration. Love, love, love. Lots of love.

If you asked me how I changed this year, I’d tell you this.

I used to think I knew what freedom was. And then I found new freedom. I got out of my own way, once and for all. I have re-built the broken trust I had with myself. I let love in. I learned to be supported. I did brave things, and got braver in the process. I took chances, I stretched, in my life, my relationships, my business. I made myself proud, very proud. I discovered things about myself I wasn’t aware of, by getting sober. I discovered more of my shadows. I discovered more of my light.

If you asked me to create a picture of myself, in relation to this year, I’d show you this.

I am turning, I am spinning, to a rhythmic beat, my arms extended, stretched in the air, my head thrown back, I am dancing, I am smiling, I am laughing.

If you asked me to sum it all up, this big, outrageous, intense, helluva year, I’d tell you this.

Thank you. Wow. Yes. Ahhhhhh… Hell yeah.

What about you?

What did you learn this year? How have you changed this year? What did you let go of? What did you gain? Create a picture of yourself, in relation to this year. And sum it all up.

I want to know.

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