I’ve been noticing something interesting lately. I’ve been starting out my days on a high vibration, fiercely grateful, mindfully approaching every task with presence, joy… All ooey-gooey and overflowing with love. And I move through my day, completing tasks. Or not. Bouncing around from one priority to another. One diversion to another.
And then, at some point, BAM. I crash. I don’t just crash. I plummet. My mood shifts dramatically. I go from “joyous bearer of light” to “bitch on wheels”. Just like that. Or so it seems.
I look at my sweet Facebook posts from the morning and roll my eyes at myself. I think bad thoughts. I make careless mistakes. I’m stressed and tired and off-kilter.
All that overflowing, ooey-gooey love has coagulated and turned into something much less appetizing, viscous and dry. I am hard and closed and cranky. I dislike. I complain. I judge. I worry. I feel overwhelmed and feral. Not fit for human interaction.
What is this shift? Why does it happen? So suddenly it seems, yet maybe if I look closely, not so sudden at all.
For a while I thought it was a sugar crash. Or a hormonal imbalance. Or demon possession. But today, I’m realizing it’s something way more subtle and insidious. And really, quite simple…
I haven’t checked in with myself.
All tangled up in the doing, going, creating, replying, forwarding, posting, planning, I’ve wandered away from myself.
It makes perfect sense. I start my day with ritual. I make my coffee. I light candles. I journal. I read. I pray. It’s no wonder I’m full of love and light!
And then, little by little, I disconnect from myself, from Source. I forget to check in. I ignore the desire to stretch. I hold my pee for ridiculous lengths of time.
I’ve decided here and now to take up a new daily practice. A simple practice called stopping. Remember lunch hours? I used to have them in corporate America. I kinda miss those.
I will check in. Ask myself what I want, feel and need. I will tune in, jump off the grid for a few minutes. Refuel. Start my midday the way I start my morning. Wow. What a concept. And why not? I heard a woman say to another woman who was complaining about her back-breaking busy schedule… “Wow… Who on earth is responsible for treating you that way? Who’s the tyrant that manages your schedule?” Yes, it was sarcastic. In a loving sort of way.
“You get out of balance because you aren’t listening to your inner life, because you aren’t meeting your challenges of your life with any input from the inside. you haven’t given yourself enough time
to know what you think or feel.”
– Jennifer Louden, “Comfort Secrets for Busy Women”
I’m ready to try something new. To restore my balance midday in order to experience more joy. And this epiphany I am gifted with when I stop to check in with myself.
What shifts or changes are you ready to make? What truth is waiting for you, if you simply check in with yourself?
What if during your next mood swing, you took it as a message from your soul to check in with yourself, to step aside, stop, recalibrate, reset, turn inward?
I’m off to restore and renew now… See you on the other side of my day. Most likely, in a much better mood.