growth, healing, letting go, pain, power

Own Your Story or It Will Own You

free-from-the-pastWe are composites of our stories. All that has happened to us, good and bad, are threads, woven into the fabric of who we are. Our strengths, our weaknesses, our gifts, our struggles all have our stories to thank for their existence, and when we can embrace and own our stories, they become testimonials for healing, for evolution.

Our battle scars become our medals of honor.

However, there is a huge difference between owning your stories and being owned by them. Let me explain.

For example, you may have been raised in a dysfunctional home. There may have been abuse. Addiction. You may have grown up frightened, unsafe. Your child’s heart may have been wounded. You may have had to fend for yourself, or devise strategies of protection to survive.

As you grow and mature, this story of growing up a wounded. frightened child becomes an important part of the fabric of who you are. Until it doesn’t work anymore. Until you are no longer being served by the tools and tricks you learned to get through life. Until the self-protection strategies begin to leave you isolated and unable to experience true intimacy. Until the methods of your survival become weapons of self-destruction.

When this happens, Life is calling you to create a different story. And if you accept the invitation, you can transmute the pain of your stories into your most precious assets.

You are where you are, you are who you are, because of your stories.

You cannot change the past. But you can change your relationship to it.

That is how you own your story.

But here’s where story owns you: If you are aware of characteristics or traits you have, or unhealthy patterns or limiting beliefs that are deeply rooted in the events of your past, and you continue to blame your story for the way your life is now, your story is owning you.

If your story is your justification for why you just can’t this or just aren’t able to do that, your story is owning you.

If your story has cemented you in a mindset that causes you continuous suffering, it’s time to bring a sledgehammer and bust your way out of that story, to transform the relationship you have to the story, so you can go about the business of living an amazing, beautiful life.

When you are ready to release the power your story has over the way things are now, you own your story.

When you can bless your story for the lessons and healing opportunities it has gifted you with, you own your story.

When you can say “I used to ____, but now I ___,” you own your story.

When you own your story, your relationship with the entire world changes.

You are no longer cemented. You are no longer bound. You can proudly advance your life from a healing, healthier place. You can bravely face your demons, to discover they are actually the most fragile, vulnerable parts of you, in need of deep love and radical acceptance.

When you own your story, Life opens up to embrace you, and says “Welcome home.”

Then, your victim story becomes a warrior’s tale.

Then, your shackles turn to dust around your ankles.

Then, others are enlightened and inspired by your redemption.

Then, you are truly free.



  1. Right on time. Thank you.

    • Thanks for commenting! Means a lot to me that it meant something to you. XO

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