She’s Been Everybody Else’s Girl
“From the shadow, she crawls.
And in the shadow, she finds her way…
She’s been everybody else’s girl.
Maybe one day, she’ll be her own.”
– Tori Amos, “Girl”
I’ve been noticing a trend that’s common with many of the women that are attracted to the work I do.
At some point in many of our lives, we begin to wake up to the question ”What do I want?”
Perhaps we hadn’t been asking it because we were too busy taking care of others. Surviving. Working. Nurturing the kids, taking care of a husband, managing a household, serving on the P.T.A… all very noble and important duties, indeed. But if the connection with our Inner Selves is lost along the way, which very often, it is, eventually those noble and important duties start to feel heavy, or less fulfilling, or empty. Or even like dying a slow death.
And then, from under the shadow of divine discontent, we crawl. We start reaching. Searching. To access the passion, the FIRE within us that we have lost contact with. We know it’s in there. We’re searching, all right, but sometimes we don’t know it’s our selves that we are searching for.
Sometimes, sadly, we even act out in dangerous and destructive ways, just to feel alive. Some find religion. Some file for divorce. Some have affairs. Some drink to numb. Some watch too much reality T.V. or eat to numb the disconnect.
And some — the lucky ones– reconnect with themselves. And when that happens, ohhh yes… the world cracks open. The ground begins to shake. The old paradigms don’t work anymore. Systems begin to crumble. The ‘way it’s always been’ suddenly is outdated.
When a woman reconnects with her deepest truest self, the world may turn upside down on its axis.
If you are waking up… if you are reconnecting to that which you had lost, within yourself… open up and allow.
The timing is perfect. Nothing is wasted. You are right on time.
But be warned, dear sister. When you begin to take a stand for YOU in whatever ways that might be, the people in your life may not like it. They may resist. When a husband sees his wife growing wings, he fears she will fly away. So he may resist, so things can stay the same… ’safe and sound.’
And maybe she will fly away and maybe she won’t. But there’s nothing safe about never changing.
And when the shifts start happening, we can’t go back to sleep.
Things can’t stay the same.
Our souls won’t allow it.
But trust this: everything will be alright.
A self-connected, actualized woman, being her truest self, reigning supreme over the kingdom of her life is a gift. To her partner, her kids, her employees, her family. To the world.
If you are not madly, wildly in love with your life, only you can fix it. As daunting as that may seem, it happens choice by choice. It can start with what you eat for breakfast. Or what you do with that one free hour in your schedule today. It can start with an honest conversation. Or a renewed commitment to finding more pleasure in your life.
You were meant to reign sovereign in the Kingdom of YOU. Who’s on the throne?
What pleases you?
What do you want?
Excerpted from my book, Truth or Dare Living: Wild Adventures for Your Sacred, Sexy Soul. Now through the holidays, I’ll be sharing some of my favorite chapters from the book, available on Amazon.com, while I revive and reignite my creative fire with some rest. Enjoy!