There was a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than a pair of designer jeans.
I’m talking deep, red hot, burning desire.
I’m talking my whole-life-will-change-when-I-get-these-jeans desire.
I’m talking my life– my real life—will finally start once I get these jeans. I was about eleven, and I was really ready for my life to finally start.
I didn’t care if they were Sergio Valente, Vidal Sassoon or Jordache. Just give me the jeeeeeans.
I wished for them. I prayed for them. I asked Santa for them, even though I had my doubts about his existence by that time.
I never did get them. And I survived. I even forgot about this desire, for years, til I stumbled across this meme today.
I even ended up having a pretty fabulous life without the jeans, after the horrors and traumas of middle school were far behind me, of course.
Desire is getting a lot of attention these days. We have The Secret, which tells us that by using the Law of Attraction, we can have anything and everything we want. We have teachers like Danielle LaPorte, author of The Desire Map, (I highly recommend) encouraging us to build our entire lives based on how we want to feel. We have no shortage of “desire-ology” available to us today. I love it. I think it’s important.
Yes, it is important to want what we want. But I think often, something important gets lost in all this wanting.
So what is the point of desire? Desire is a heat-generating power center in our bodies. Just desiring alone may be the point. Longing and desire are stimulating, energizing forces. Yes, contentedness feels nice.
Desire feels like fire.
When we cultivate desire, we turn up the heat in that energy center. It lives in our belly. It gets activated when we desire. You know what else gets activated? Creativity. Passion. Aliveness. Desire lights us up. And being lit up is a great thing to be, and will affect all areas of your life.
Desires change, just like we do. Things I wanted ten years ago I don’t want anymore. And I definitely don’t care about designer jeans anymore.
Allow for the fluidity of changing desires. Allow your desires to change, to give birth to desires that match newer versions of you.
Also remember when desiring, it’s not really about the thing, it’s about how we think it will make us feel.
Desire is informative. It tells us how we want to feel.
So what is it that I really wanted, underneath the desire for those designer jeans? I wanted to feel cool. I wanted to feel confident and self-assured and comfortable in my body, like the girls at school who wore them seemed to feel. What I didn’t know at that young and naive stage in my life is that jeans could not give that to me. A lifetime of inner work, healing, awareness and growth would be my path to those feelings.
YES, want what you want.
Allow yourself to feel that red hot fiery energy of desire.
Be curious with your desires.
Under every desire is another desire, and another, and they usually have less to do with the thing itself, and more to do with the feelings you think having that thing will give you.
So let’s say for example, you peel away the layers of your desire for a certain red convertible. When you peel away the layers, you realize, what you really want is to feel freedom. What you want to feel is fast, thrilling flow, adventure and exhilaration and wind through your hair.
Don’t wait for the car. How can you feel those feelings today?
Want what you want. Be unapologetic for wanting. Be brazen. So what if it’s “unrealistic”.
Feel the fire of desire. Allow that fire to fuel you, your creativity, your work, your relationships. Let desire light you up.
Feel it in your body. Locate it. Give it words. Let it become sensation. Lose the language. Feel the fire.
Undress your desires. Layer by layer, until you find yourself at the kernel of truth, of wisdom buried deep within it.
Be flexible with your desires. Rigidity is boring. Fluidity and openness and trusting in what is beyond your little human brain and its limited capacity for ideas and possibilities is way more fun.
What what you want, and know why you want it.