change, choice, desire, freedom, fresh starts, goals

When We Wander from What We Want

18-People-Who-Have-Failed-At-2015-Already-new-years-resolutionsIt’s inevitable for most of us.

We start the new year off with the best intentions. Connected to our dreams, clear on our desires, fired up with hope, we come out of the pen ready to do this.

We chug along for a week or so, momentum building.

Week two, yeah we’re good, making progress.

Week three, week four… well, things come up. We get distracted, we get tired, we get bored, we get sidetracked.

By the time February rolls around, we have ditched the resolutions. US News reports that by February, 80% of resolutions have failed. EIGHTY PERCENT. The good news is it’s not just you! The other good news is it doesn’t have to be you anymore!

It is totally normal to wander from what we want. Life has a way of distracting us. We have a way of getting in our own way. We blow it. We shift and change and sometimes even forget what it is we truly want from our lives.

Then, to make matters even worse, we feel bad about ourselves for “failing.” We blame our lack of will-power or commitment. We feel ashamed that this year was no different than the year before, or the year before.

And then we default to “game over.”  We throw in the towel.

Can this year be different?

Here’s what I think.

I think we give up too soon. Getting sidetracked is pretty much inevitable.

Here are five important tips to keep in mind, so that this year will be different.

  1. Start with a passion-based plan. Make sure that the goal is REALLY YOURS, not just what you think you should want. Then take that desire and break it down into steps, doable, realistic, action-oriented steps. Plan them. Schedule them. Plot them. You rebels might hate reading this, but it’s the difference between roaming around until you find your destination and GPSing it.
  2. Connect to your WHYs. Again and again. On a day you’re feeling strong, committed and capable, create a list of all the reasons, large and small you are working toward this goal. Review it,daily. Connect to each reason. Feel it. Breathe it. Focus on the pleasures that await you on the other side of the goal, and all the beautiful, sexy, fantastic reasons for even bothering in the first place. And if there is no pleasure waiting on the other side, take it off your list of goals and desires.
  3. Don’t go it alone. Accountability works. Whether you hire a coach, join a mastermind group, or buddy up with a trusted friend, enlist someone to hold you accountable. Someone besides yourself. It’s way too easy to cheat, justify, and disappoint ourselves when no one else is looking.
  4. Be kind to yourself. Praise yourself. Reward yourself. Write love notes to yourself in your journal “I am so proud of you. You’re doing great.” Sustainable change rarely comes from a place of self-loathing and cruelty. Try a gentler, more compassionate approach.
  5. Anticipate the wandering. You are a human being, not a machine. The secret is to get back on track, as soon as possible. Just because you “blew it” doesn’t mean it has to stay blown. And when we anticipate something, it won’t throw us completely off balance when it happens. It won’t knock us down. And if it does, we get back up, dust of our sexy selves, forgive ourselves and pick up where we left off.

You can do this. I can do this. Let’s be the 20%. We got this.



Let’s build momentum! For added support, planning and mapping, plotting and scheming, join me Saturday 1/16 in Richardson, Texas for my 2016 Planning Party. Getting your sh*t together was never this much fun! Find out more here.

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