YOU are the point. Throw out those raggedy panties.



It happens to all of us. One of the first things I tell students when they come to my Unleash Your Inner Bombshell workshop is that none of us feels like a bombshell all the time. Even Marilyn Monroe, the bombshell of bombshells knew her “bombshell self” (Marilyn) was something she (Norma Jean) could turn on and off; it came and went. This is real life, after all.

In fact, it’s safer to say, as a work-from-home entrepreneur who spends most of her time sans makeup, in yoga pants, it’s more common that I feel… comfortable.

And when comfortable, it’s quite easy for me to fall into frumpiness. And it’s a strange coincidence, when I’m feeling frumpy, I’m also likely to be feeling funky.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Yes, self-esteem is an inside job. No, your appearance does not determine your worth.

I work hard on cultivating my inner world… But I will make no apologies for being a sensual, feminine woman, who enjoys lipstick, lingerie, and smelling pretty.

We cannot deny there is a direct and strong connection here: When we take the time to take care of our outer appearance, we feel better on the inside. Yet, when we get comfortable, we can get lazy, and when we get lazy, we succumb to the frumps.

These are the most common excuses women give me for letting their physical care go, and quitting on themselves, when it comes to the care, adornment and decorating of their temples…

  1. I don’t have the money. To that I say: Phooey! I just bought a 93 cent lipstick, “Retro Red” fact, and put it on in the parking lot, while running errands. And just like that, I felt more alive, more magnetic… more me. That’s me in my Retro Red up there in that picture, check it. It’s the only makeup I’m wearing and it had an instant effect on me.
  2. I’m too old. You are never too old to enjoy being a woman.
  3. I’m too busy. It takes ten seconds to apply lipstick. It takes ten seconds to put on a lacy pair or pretty panties. Next!
  4. No one (but the kids… the pets… the walls…) will see, so why bother? YOU will see. You will know. But mostly, you will feel.

I tell you these things because I love you. And because I get it.

I’d been feeling so unattractive lately. And guess what? I haven’t been bothering with makeup. With pretty undergarments. With keeping up with my grey roots. You should SEE the raggedy old strapless bra I’d been wearing because I hadn’t made the effort to find new ones. (Why is finding strapless bras that fit well so daunting?)

I get lazy. I forget how good it feels to feel sexy, just for me. Not for sexy-time, not for the world, not for my partner. Just for me.

So today, I treated myself to some lovely new panties, nothing crazy expensive, just enough to give me a little thrill. I’m wearing the yellow lace ones now. They make me happy and feel like a wearing a secret smile. I put on some lipstick. I’m about to go dye these crazy roots. I finally threw out the raggedy strapless bra! I’m doing little things to feel better, because how I look on the outside DOES affect the inside. And vice versa of course.

I’m in charge! I no longer hand over responsibility for how I feel about myself to others. But that… comes with responsibility.

I’m worth it. So are you.

Married or single, sexually active or not, young, old or somewhere in between, you are worth the effort. You deserve to feel good. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It doesn’t have to take up too much of your time. It doesn’t have to be extravagant.

Do what makes you feel good.

Here are four things you can do today to immediately feel lovelier:

  • Go through your undergarment drawer and clear out the raggedy panties! Let them go! Sure save a couple of the ratty “granny” panties for that time of the month, if you must… but lose the other nasty old things! I just did.
  • Treat yourself to a 99 cent makeover. Buy yourself a fun, bright, bold cheap lipstick and put it on, right now, I don’t care what you’re doing. To really be adventurous, go outside your normal range of shades… For example, if you say “I never wear pinks,” buy a pink! Wet & Wild is a fun and super cheap way to play with new colors. See if that doesn’t immediately shift things for ya a little. If you have more to spend, spend more! The point is, treat yourself.
  • Put on some sexy music and use it as your background noise while working, cooking, being… and if you’re feeling really adventurous… dance around to it.
  • Do something sensual with your glorious body. Take a skinny dip tonight. Moon bathe naked. Rub yourself with luscious body butter, from your neck to the soles of your feet. Or just rub yourself. Be in your body. Enjoy it.

Experiment. Take a chance. Play. Enjoy the flesh and texture and shape of your body, as it is right now, and the senses you have been gifted with. Revel in the soft, sexy, fleshliness that carries your gorgeous soul around day after day, likely with very little thanks…

What’s the point?

YOU are the point.



Reposted; originally posted July 2014

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