Every time I think of “wanting it all”, I think of the petulant, spoiled-to-the-core brat of Willie Wonka fame, Veruca Salt. She’s an extreme example of wanting. Spoiled, recklessly self-absorbed, and we all know what happens to her. She faces her unfortunate demise when she falls down the hatch, trying to get her golden egg. “Bad Egg” the meter declares.
And we all chuckle, knowing she got what she deserved, the little brat, the subtle message planted: don’t want too much.
It’s unfortunate really, that we’ve equated desire with being spoiled, wanting more with ungratefulness, that somehow it’s more virtuous to not want, to just be satisfied with what you have, to be content.
So when the desires do stir within us, for more, for bigger, for better, there is an emotional dissonance that occurs within us, a tear of sorts, a conflict. The apparent contradiction between what we’re “supposed to be”– grateful, content, happy with what we have, and what we actually are, wanting, desirous creatures with longings and yearnings.
The notion of either/or is complete hogwash and I challenge you to ditch it!
I was talking to a sweet friend the other night, who can’t quite put her finger on it, but she’s restless, less satisfied with her work. “Uninspired” was what she called it. “But…” she began to backtrack. She feels like she “should” just be happy, grateful. She’s got a fulfilling, successful career, cool apartment, great boyfriend, wonderful friends. Shouldn’t that be enough?
And yet, here she is, finding herself wanting more, and the shadowy underbelly of that desire is guilt and judgement, as if wanting more is some declaration to the bountiful Universe that we are greedy, arrogant and impossible to satisfy.
My friend dreams of traveling, of experiencing more of the world, having wild adventures in foreign places, doing what she loves while traipsing the planet, and when she allows herself to want more, her eyes dance, her face lights up, her smile spreads across her face, and it’s beautiful to behold. A desirous woman is frightening to some, titillating to me.
Of course, there is also that part of us that knows that if we want more, bigger, better, we will have to BE more, bigger, better, and, oh that’s a whole other blog, this idea of staying small so that we don’t have to live up to the grandness of our desires and dreams… You know what I’m talking about, right?
But the message I want to share with you today is that you CAN be both grateful and content AND wanting of more. You are a co-creating your life, with a boundless Universe that is thrilled by your desires and dreams. Your longings do not diminish your gratitude for what you have. Desire does not cancel out gratitude.
So go on, want it all. You will not fall down the chute. You are not a bad egg. Your dreams and desires have power and magic in them, and you can trust them. But ohh… you might have to act on them, too. That’s the way it goes…
Feel grateful, yes. Appreciate what you have, yes. But don’t stop there.
Dream on, feel your longings, bask in your desire, let yourself want.